http://bigsendworld.com

If you haven't yet, go read FinalD's "Advice for College Guys" on www.fastseduction.com/discussion.
Really, really vital stuff that would have saved me a tremendous amount of heartache and you are ideally placed to put it into action.
Happy end of the quarter, too, and good luck on finals.

Excellent web-site. I've enjoyed reading your posts these last few months. As a happily married guy (second marriage) in his late 30s it's interesting to follow someone's development. I've checked out a few other blogs, but yours seems to have the most clearly defined goals and detailed strategies for how you want to improve. Well done. Happy hunting in 2006.

Anyway, I just wanted to write and say your list of traits while very thorough, is missing THE most important trait. (Although this could be because you are looking for fun and sex, rather than marriage)

I had a female friend that had tons of problems with dating. She made a list of the qualities she was looking for, yet was still drawn to loser guys. They possessed all of the traits on her list, and she occasionally added others, but always the relationship hit a sticking point.

The one trait you need to add to your list is "She must be available"

Obviously, if you're looking for a ONS or short term relationship this isn't necessary, but if you are looking for a serious long term relationship you will need to add availability when you are ready.

"Available" can be interpreted in several ways. For example...

(i) Not in a steady relationship now. (My friend had dated guys that turned out to be married or living with a woman - obviously not happily married, but settled enough that they didn't want to leave their wives/partners!)

(ii) Not still hung up about an ex. My friend dated some guys that said they were over an ex-wife or girlfriend, but on anniversaries, or if they got a phone call from them or saw them in the street, or heard a song on the radio, etc. they'd be fucked up for days.

(iii) On the same page, relationship wise. My friend met some guys that were perfect in every way, but they weren't ready to settle down at that moment in time. My friend was, so even though chemistry and everything else was there, she had to decide whether to wait for them to be available, or look for someone else who was.

Once my friend added availability to her list, she quickly found the guy of her dreams (who really is the quality guy she deserves and who deserves her) and they have been happily married for two years now.

My main piece of advice to her (and you) is that you always need to be looking for someone that is in the same place as you relationship-wise. This could be casual fling, threesomes, semi-serious, commitment, whatever. If you are both "available" and in the smae place, everything will run smoothly.

A lot of the PUAs that teach approaching and endgame have a string of casual relationships, because their skills and approach work with girls that are in the same place as them - girls that are looking for a temporary stopgap - a bit of fun before they settle down. One of my biggest "irritations" (although I couldn't really care less) is with the PUAs use of the word "endgame". To me, my frame for "endgame" is retiring in your late 50s or 60s with the woman you've loved for the last 20 odd years. Getting a woman to fuck you on the first, second or third date is NOT endgame! It's just a recreational activity!

Finally, I like your imagery, borrowed from Zan about the path. I've talked to a lot of my friends about this in the past, and feel that especially after marriage an image of two paths moving together, is much better than two people sharing the same path. (My biggest mistake in my first marriage was sharing the same path, and especially jumping off my path onto hers!)

In my analogy, I liken a relationship to a dual-carriageway (in England that's like two lanes of traffic going in the same direction (plus a hard shoulder for pulling over). Some times, you may need to pull over to reevaluate which direction you are both going in or to take stock of your lives during a crisis (death in the family, pregnancy, natural disaster, etc.) but basically you are moving along together on your seperate lanes of traffic, with your seperate friends, hobbies, etc. Obviously, there are times when you'll pull over into the other person's lane (social events, family get-togethers, supporting their career, shared interests, vacations, etc.) , but basically you are two independent people driving towards a common destination (to me this is retirement).

If the relationship ends, one of you would obviously leave the dual carriageway, to follow a single lane road which may or may not intersect with yours again. (When I was at university, obviously a lot of those girls were still on the same highway, and occasionally we had to acknowledge each other, but they never entered my lane (and I never entered theirs!) I guess this is one reason why you shouldn't dip your pen in the company ink!

This two road analogy was particularly helpful to me when my second wife to be was working in another country for 18 months. We were continuing together in the same direction but on different roads that were many miles apart. I imagined a long parallel road in the distance with a beautiful scenic view between the two of us. The road wasn't quite parallel though but was slowly getting closer to mine, so that after 18 months of driving it would be back parallel to my lane. We were still together as a couple, but we were temporarily apart and very slowly getting closer and closer.

I like the path analogy (because it's close to mine) but I prefer the use of roads, for two reasons.

One, there is a greater speed involved and it implies a drive towards your goal, whereas a path implies (to me) a slow stroll to Grandma's house like in Little Red Riding Hood.

Similarly, usually a single road with two lanes of traffic going in opposite directions is usually moving slower than a dual carriageway. I think once you get married, and you have two roads going in the same direction, you are ofte become more motivated to succeed and are also given a boost through mutual support of each others journeys.

Second, driving involves more careful observation and obstacles that you have to react to quickly. While you have your eye on the destination (maybe you planned the journey before you left home) you also have to react quickly once you're on the road to avoid crashing or to take advantage of other drivers letting you out. You also have to be on the lookout for other bad drivers, and bastards that are trying to cut you off, etc. Maybe there are diversions and you need to take another route to reach your destination, etc.

I guess you can visualize/extend an analogy as much or as little as you please. But for me the road and two lanes heading in the same direction is my favorite analogy for relationships.