Fear of Escalation or the Approach
My good friend and wing man Ozzy has an amazing ability---he has ZERO fear of approaching. He does it direct, indirect, whatever. But still he isn't getting far and the truth is I could not understand what was really going on until... Ozzy himself figured it out, he realized he was afraid of escalating...
Fear of Escalation?? What the fuck.. where does that fit in---those 3 words. This combination somehow feels right. When Ozzy approaches, to him its not an escalation, its just a thing to do. A task that he does to sarge. But approach is a simple word that only means to go near an object. Hell I can do that (even though one of my main issues is labeled "approach anxiety"), but is that right? I can easily walk near a girl, any girl, anyone. Rarely am I so nervous that I can't even stand next to a girl (actually a girl whom I hooked up with and regret, there I have anxiety to even approach them haha).
I realized that when I, personally, open a conversations, it is not an approach, it is my first step of escalation. I too fear escalation and I never really realized it. Not only the approach, but also kino (however, I am 50% over my issues with touching a girl when I talk to her, I just have to force myself to touch her when I say something---more on this later). But when it comes to going for the kiss, I almost feel like I have to be in the exact right place, with no one around watching, and/or wait for her to just put her face right into mine or something. If I recall our conversations, Ozzy feels similar.
I feel this all comes back to being in my head, thinking, instead of being in my body, just feeling the moment. However we must learn how to feel and how to act on our feelings naturally without making a big deal in our brains about it.
Whats the solution? Probably just do it. Don't think about it, just do it. Like I said in my very last post, "Plan, Do, Study, Act". I'm actually going to replace "Act" with "Implement and repeat" as that is a better, more direct way of looking at this.
So my fear of escalating to the first conversations
Any suggestions are warmly welcomed.
.
Check this out, mate:
http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=61333&fid=23
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 11:51:00 AM