LR: I got laid!
From a girl I was kind of chasing for a year and a half! (Not really chasing, we didn't talk for a year, see my field report about our day with 4five6 Labels: Field Reports
http://bigsend.blogspot.com/2007/01/fr-revelation-pictures-my-game-then-my.html)
Background:
To go where I left off, Claire left that morning a couple weeks ago and we talked a little bit here and there, mostly online.
Our conversations consisted mostly of a little joking around, some questions and just whatever, however the vibe started to wane, in that the vibe started to feel more like penpals, and I think the only thing that kept us from slipping into pure Friends were my SOIs, "You are one of the funniest girls I know" etc. Not bad
Anyway, last Sunday I asked her out to dinner. I know this is slightly anti-comunity dogma, but I wasn't sure how to go about meeting her again. [In retrospect I should have just invited her out to a bar with me and my friends, but oh well]
After I asked her out, she was like "Listen, I want to make it clear we are NOT dating OKAY? We are just getting food" But we ended the conversation was a Yes on the non-Date.
Ouch...
There was a part of me that thought "She just wants to make it clear that I am only fucking material, nothing else. She just broke up with her EX a month ago"
Well I barely talked to her this next week, maybe one or two times but I was a little disapointed. Disapointed in myself that I keep losing girls after the Day2 and I can't figure out exactly why. I tell Ulysses this and he suggests going out alone, getting over outcome dependence, etc. So I decided to hit up Q's alone and just chill there.
But alone at Q's I started to feel real shitty, lonely, unable to talk to anyone. Looking on the outside, I know I seemed fine, no one acted awkward around me. I was just quiet with world in my mind. I soon got up and left the bar and just walked up and down Wilshire Blvd for about 30 minutes and it was there I sent Claire an SMS saying "I can't make Wednesday. I'll see you around though."
She sends me SMS back saying. "Okay I'll see you then. Goodnight"
Haha she a funny gal
Anyway I felt the vibe in the air as negative, something wasn't right. Even though she acted very dismissive when I asked her out, I could feel my canceling hurt her.
As I walked down Wilshire I had a revelation about Approach Anxiety and that Anxiety and Excitement are such similar emotions. I will make another post on this later if it gets me anywhere, for now its rather Keyboard Jockey.
Fastforward to Saturday. I am studying for a midterm and I don't plan to do much this weekend. I got dinner with Ozzy (4Five6) and planned to just focus for this night. My Plan for the night was basically to just jerk off, drink a coffee, watch a movie and study study study.
I got to the jerk off part, then I got a SMS from Claire saying
"Hey stranger i'm @ brew co. too bad ur not talking 2 me.... we could have fun ;-)"
Damn! I shouldn't have jerked off!
I write back:
"hey just been studying like crazy. was planning to watch a movie then call it a night. youre invited"
"Comin?"
Her:
"Maybe later.. as soon as Rizza finds a fuck. Why did you cancel me?"
Me:
"These problems i am doing are hours long wanna see them? make sure Rizza doesn't drink too much haha"
Then she says...
"How do we get to Q's from brew co?"
So I thought to myself, should be cocky-funny or just honest. It is almost a neg to be honest and not convince her to come over. I decided to just be honest
"just go down wilshire towards santa monica. to your right after Barington"
No more texts... :)
She calls me about 20-30 minutes later and tells me Rizza is going to hook up with one of her booty calls and she needs a place to crash. I tell her sure of course, I'll bring out a bed and a blanket and we just riff on the phone.
She comes to my drive way and I open the gate for her, say hi to Rizza and she comes inside. She seems a little nervous, but she is close—her eyes are looking around, but her body comes to me. We sit down and chat a bit, think about movies we could watch, but we end up going into my room and she just sits on my lap.
Then, it started to rain. I LOVE the rain while I am in a warm, cozy bed or house. We go out to my balcondy, under a cover and make out, kissing in the rain is awesome. We go inside my room, I open all the widnows so we can hear the rain, fuck, and cuddle. We did all 3.
So after 1.5 years, this is the longest sarge so far haha! Although I have had sex before, that sex wasn’t as great. This girl is tight, feels amazing inside her and she is cuddley, I can easily fall asleep while spooning her.
Now I want to read David Shade’s book because, why not :-)
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