FR: I Feel Even Stronger About It
I feel even stronger that I am on to something with this fear into excitement. (In retrospect, I am not sure if Ulysses considered that his set. I got the notion he didn't seem very enthusiastic about these girls so I just ran off my instincts. Ulysses if you had a masterplan and I messed it up, I just want to say sorry.) Sheetal is obviously Indian and one of my best friends is Indian so I them, "You know, Indians and me really get along, I don't even know what it is. One of my best friends is Indian, his name is Kunal and you guys probably know him because I know all Indians somehow know each other" And my god, they all cracked up like crazy saying "That was the funniest thing I've ever heard! omg!" :-) Also, I have to add, I asked one of the girls, Jenn, "Hey when you commented on my friend's [Ulysses] nails, was that just a way to get us into a conversation with you, or was it just being fun" And the girl was very honest and didn't deny that they really wanted us to join them. It was just an Opener! Here is a really bad picture for your view pleasure. Camera phones aren't the greatest thing ever... Labels: Field Reports, Ideas
I have been keeping fresh in my mind this new idea of transforming fear-energy into something useful. Again, instead of getting rid of the fear, I am just converting it, reframing opening a set like stepping on a roller coaster. The past two nights I've been out, I got into hour long sets which opening great and both ending with the girl(s) extremely into me, but finding out my age and becoming very disappointed because they are 10 years older than me! This is like my next SP, dealing with age. (By the way, its a complete coincidence that I am sarging 30+ gals, I'm not sure what it is but most of them seem young at first)
Last night I went to the Broadway Bar in Los Angeles to meet my friends Ulysses and JeromeVincent. When I got there, they were already making themselves at home with a beer and a light. Ulysses buys me a beer and we are on to chillin and having a good time, but then a group of girls look over at Ulysses and say "Hey nice nails, are you a goth or something??" (Ulysses has black nails).
Ulysses says something back (I forget what) but didn't seem to make any conversation or go on, meanwhile I notice my heart rate goes up, my breathing gets slightly quicker---the anxiousness is ahoy! Now I must choose: fear or excitement? I chose excitement (and enthusiams too I notice). After that split second, I said to the girls "Hey, what do you think of these [showing my hands] 'translucent' nails!" And they laugh. Meanwhile I think Ulysses notices my split second of anxiousness and immediately says to me "Calm down. Be cool, be cool" That throws me off for a second, as I feel perfectly cool now and really happy. Instead I walk over to this group of about 4 girls and just sit with them, I don't even think about it, I simply ride the wave where it takes me; I sit down with them on their couch and just fluff, joke first about nails, then we somehow start talking about Charlies Angels and how they are all man killers and we just vibe. I am totally feeling the moment, the "anxiety" is pure thrill and enjoyment! Like after an awesome roller coaster.
Sheetal started to get real into me very soon thereafter, asking me many questions about myself, where I'm from, studying, work, etc etc. She compliments me and says that I am very smooth coming over to talk to them, they really liked it. I also ask her questions; eventually I find out she is into Astro Physics, so I wow her with my knowledge of Big Bang Theory and Black Holes. I do some Juggler style Disqualification and say to them "You know guys, I have to admit. I am probably the biggest nerd you'll ever see in a bar. Ever. Period... Did you know Black Holes can evaporate*" Blah blah blah
However, once it got around that I am 21 and they are all 30 something, I felt they were a bit in disbelief and disappointed (just like the hot blond from V-Night), even though I had my hand right between Sheetal's legs. The entire group fucking loved me. Mystery is right, enthusiasm is contagious. I simply transformed my fear into excitement and bingo!
This Anxiety: Fear --> Excitement thing works for me. I had a deep conversation with JeromeVincent later that night about Martial Arts and the idea of transforming all energy into different forms. Ergo, during finals week, a friend dies---instead of becoming fully depressed, realize the friend wants you to be successful more than sad and that you should still keep studying and not sacrifice; thus taking the sadness energy and converting it into academic energy. When we are tired and unmotivated, imagine fighting your worst enemy---build up energy from that---then transform that energy into what you need to do.
This shit seems to work all ways. I am so excited and thankful that I found this now, I feel I jumped into the next level.
Also, a great line JeromeVincent offered me for the age disqualifier is "I know I am 21, but just recently I actually dated an older girl and it was one of the best experiences in my life. I seem to get along best with girls who have more life experience than the typical 18 year old LA girl" And go from there. I'll see how that line works, even though I never dated an older gal long term... "Its not lying, its flirting"
.
I was approached by a 29 year old girl a while ago and we hit it off well. I already noticed she was a bit older, so I tried to keep away from ages. At some point she asked me how old I was and she kinda had a shocked face when I told her, so I went "What? A few circles 'round the sun matter now? How old are you then?" She told me her age (8 years older) and I replied "ahh well, it's like I said, what does it mean anyway. I always seem to hang out with older people" and then just continued the conversation.
We went home together and she ended up being my FB/mLTR for a while. We still hang out.
I think that line you got isn't so subtle and it would sound a bit reactive or like you're qualifying yourself age-wise. Instead (CAREFULLY) disqualify them a bit.. For instance, if I get very enthusiastic and the girl doesn't share the enthusiasm about the topic or if she is so enthusiastic she goes blank, I'll say sth like "Oh, I can be very energetic at times, stop me if you can't keep up" accompanied with a playful pinch or something like that.
Instead of confronting it directly, I work at it more subtly.
Posted by
Anonymous |
Monday, March 26, 2007 8:49:00 AM