Where I Stand on Giving and Getting Advice
Hey guys,
I get emails and requests occasionally asking for advice. I have to be honest, I can't give solid, Mystery Method advice on anything past A1 (opening)/A2 (attraction). The truth is, I am just a 20 year old guy trying to figure this part of my life out. I am barraged with work in my engineering major and minor and I'm trying to balance out work, play, and sleep. I have basically resolved to the fact that until I get a car and turn 21 (which will hopefully happen around the same time) I can't hit up the bars as much do run 12 sets x 4 hours a night for a month (the Mystery mission). But I don't worry, it is my life, my journey, and I go at my pace.
Anyone who looks at this as a race is obviously an AFC because why would a PUA who gets laid care?
However, I can give advice on how to get started, how to open, and how to stack a bit.
Beyond that, I can just give you a "good luck bro!"
Also, a huge piece of advice I can give is this: If you are new, every question you could have is probably already answered. Read Art of approaching, or David DeAneglo's book, or the Mystery Method (Venusian Arts) Handbook (All linked on the left).
I highly suggest not going to online forums for advice for basic problems (just so you don't rely on forums for everything). Most things have been answered and are in those books and solving problems on your own is always the best way. Online forums, in my experience, are just excuses for attachment (especially if you are too insecure to go out, do not fall back on an online forum! also forming an online social circle which is 100% a waste of time for a million reasons), bad advice --(remember we want to solve our own problems, use online as a reference and guide)--, and sometimes drama. In one forum, a bunch of guys were challenging me that I should be a PUA already, as I've been studying for a bit over a year. That was just a useless drama, presure, and competition. I since asked the admins to remove my account as that place lost all value. (Yes this is always an option, if you find yourself on a forum more than you should, you can ask the admins to remove your account. That helps solidify a change a lot)
As Mystery said somewhere, (something like) A PUA is someone who can post about their problems and resolve them, a keyboard Jockey doesn't do either.
I would go on online forums and ask questions if you find trends going on in field that you really don't understand. For example, every time you open a set, the cockbocks pull the target away... perhaps post your story on the Mystery Method boards. If you are going to post somewhere, I HIGHLY recommend the mystery method boards (linked on the left). Perhaps go online if you are in a ticky situation. But again, don't go online to vibe, lament, or seek approval/validation from anyone. This your journey.
Unfortunately I do see KJs and forum junkies on the Mystery Method forums a bit too... however they have MM Instructors and bootcamp vets posting which is mostly what I look for.
If you go to those boards, look for Cedar's posts. He has posts for a newbie mission and how to get started and get over approach anxiety. Believe me, Cedar answered 99.99% of all the questions that have ever come to my head, and believe me, I've had a tons of questions. Another thing to know is, you'll read a lot, then go in field and realize misinterpretations everywhere. After a few hours in field, you'll come home and read with a new understanding. It feels enlightening.
Anyway, If you can't buy/afford any of the books on the left, Read some of the "best" threads in the Mystery Method forum.
Also, another piece of advice I can give. Pick a guru; pick a teacher. Not many people can learn math or English or science or even Karate or basketball or whatever without looking up to someone, getting influenced, and getting taught. When you study pickup try to figure out what your style is, then pick the guru which reflects that style
Here is a list of some great teachers:
The teachers I picked were Dr. Paul for inner game and Mystery (including his fellows like Sinn, Lovedrop, Savoy, and Style is basically a Mystery Method interpretation etc).
You can even pick a teacher who is just a normal natural. I don't know any natural who is that good at pick up, so it doesn't work out for me.
So in summary, this is YOUR journey. ALL the beginner's stuff is written down in books; no one knows how to solve your problems except yourself, you just need to know the path---so pick your teacher, figure out which one feels best for you and you'll probably find most of your best answers with him.
If you need help with sticking points (shit that happens again and again in field) go on the Mystery Method forums and describe it. If it involves getting started, A1 and maybe a little bit of A2, you can try emailing me and I'll shoot over some advice.
And please, realize this is YOUR journey and NO ONE ELSE'S. Don't get caught up in any race, in any challenge or any negativity. Think of it like this, 80 years from now are you going to be thinking about some random guy on the net said about you? Are you going to be thinking about how it took you more than a few years to become a PUA?
No, You'll be thinking about the good shit, friends, family! Fuck the negativity! Its meaningless, and it sure as fuck ain't going to pay your bills, get you laid, move your stuff, drive you home when you're drunk, or encourage you when you are down!
The idea of being a PUA is creating real life social circles, not online circle-jerks.
Why am I posting this?
Well along with some negative experiences on another forum, I also see the bull shit going on in other places, like Thundercat's blog and it just feels like useless drama. Check out this post, its sad how people get caught up in this drama; althought, I think most of the people on there are just joking around, some seem pretty serious.
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That's what I said a while back on my blog. There's so much drama that it's not worth getting into. Bro you seem like one of the most real guys out here, and your blog is all money, reason why I visit it every here and there. Keep doing what you do.
Posted by
Style |
Friday, March 17, 2006 4:43:00 PM