I'm Becoming a Big Flirt
Minus all the relationship issues I get myself into that may or may not work out, one thing I can claim is I am becoming a pro at vibing and here is my post on it. First off, I feel I have always had the desire, the feeling, the root of being a social butterfly, I've just always had limiting beliefs and "blockers" in my head which kept me down. One day I woke up and it was over 50% gone, I have been in the community for about two years now and if anything in my life has changed, its been my ability to have frame control and to socially vibe.
Let me illustrate a few very recent examples.
First and probably most importantly, my cousins. My cousins are 9, 12, and 14 and I am 20, so there is a pretty big disconnect to the untrained eye. Back when I was 17, 18 etc and I would visit the cousins or they'd visit me, I was always very quiet and didn't talk too much with them. Now when I see them, I'd mess with them and talk when them on a real level. I'd make jokes and show them new cool things (and even nerdy things) I tried teaching my 9 year old cousin the trick to multiplication. So I was constantly vibing, and even very, very gently negging my cousins. For example, I'd make fun of them when they have something in their teeth or whatever and I'd rub their head and play around.
The truly shocking event was when the 12 year old said to me "You were so quiet the last times we met you, never talked much. Now you are just different" I shit you not, I was shocked. I couldn't believe that observation. Its so obvious now, but when I heard it, I asked her "Really?.. hmm in what ways" but she didn't answer. She didn't know, it was all the VIBE!
Next -- I went to a friend's birthday party last Saturday and without introduction, without even waiting I began opening people up and introducing myself personally and asking them the basic questions to initiate rapport. When there is a pause in the conversation, I look at the environment and talk about the first thing I notice, doesn't really matter what that is, but I act interested and I ask questions about it. My friend's birthday party was a wine-tasting, so when there was a lull in conversation, I said "which wine are you guys tasting? Oooh nice, how are you liking it." Depending on their facial expressions I keep the conversation going, if the person isn't into the conversation, I give him/her the break and ask someone else to get the spot light off.
At the party I was vibing very well with certain girls. My game isn't tight yet, I only seem to vibe well with girls who are already into me based on first impression, my vibing doesn't really turn a girl who isn't into me into a stalker quite yet. But I was getting major IOIs from certain girls and I was really just always laughing, smiling and poking fun at them, talking about weird things. I'd always switch the subject and make the conversation go through loops. I would say my vibing is very closely based off of Conan O'Brien in his talk show. His character is almost exactly what I think about when I am vibing, I just naturally think of him.
The best thing was this: I got to know two guys and started talking about Jazz. I recently got into Jazz and learned some minor facts about the art. I talked to them about John Mclaughlin, Charles Mingus, Miles Davis, etc etc and got into passionate conversations about the art, how the music affects me, how it puts me in different levels---same with the guys I was talking to. I reached such a great level of rapport, I got their email addresses and one guys just gave me TWO CDs! Pure CDs, not burns. "Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus" and "The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady" which are two awesome albums that I am actually listening to right now as I write this.
So my vibing skills got me two cool friends with similar interests and two fucking awesome CDs!!!!
Next -- Social vibing at work, at work. Err, what I mean: my vibing skills helping me out at my call center job. They have me call up alumni from my school and solicit them for donation money. Now, this is almost just like a sarge put into full gear and condensed into about 20 minutes for a successful close. Some of the people I called hung up within the first 10 seconds, but about two actually donated.
Since I am new, they put me on the non-donors list, that is people who have never donated before. I feel the trick to them is heavy rapport and connection. The first guy to accept my asking was a Mathematician. Now I am an Engineering major, but I have great passion for math, so I talked to this guy for about 20 minutes about math, the golden number, Fibonacci, pi, differential equations, vector calculus and he was telling me how he is a retired teacher and is now volunteering his teaching time to help the students who can't pass certain High School exams in his area. After 20 minutes he ended the phone call by saying "Today is your lucky day, I'll donate $100" boom.
The next one to donate .. ehh I kind of forgot. I don't remember all my successes to be honest, but I do remember some of my key failures. It wasn't a biggie, but I talked to this one Philosophy major for about 10 minutes. She started off saying she isn't going to donate, but I talked with her anyway about Noam Chomsky, advertising, and conspiracy theories. She agreed but she had some weird theories of her own and when I heard them, it sort of broke some rapport because I wasn't sure. She said something like "McDonald's wants their customers to be fat" and I thought about it, and I couldn't really agree, it just didn't make sense. McDonald's has fatty foods so they taste good and are addictive, but I don't think they want to necessarily make their customers fat... hmm. Maybe if they are fat, they will get depressed and eat more?
Well either way, that went well for my second day. I'm only supposed to get 5% of the non-donors to actually donate, and I got about 10% or so.
Both the first day and the second day on the job I was sitting next to these nice girls and getting major IOIs from them, as the job is made up of about 30% calling and 70% waiting/talking with neighbors, as most calls are no-answers. One of the girls were trying to tickle me while I was on a call, and that was funny. Another just out the blue said "You have nice eyes". Craziness.
I was just vibing with them, asking for advice, making them feel important, and at the same time breaking rapport with them by going on the phone and saying "I'm on the phone, shhhh"
The second night at the job, I was vibing with this one girl who basically I plowed. I mean, at first she didn't seem totally into me, but then I would keep asking her questions, then be like "you are my new coach" (Gives her the rock) and stuff like that. I would vibe with her on and off, then she saw me getting into conversations and got very interested in what I was saying while talking to the Math guy. She likes the ideas of math, but never got into it.
She basically said I was unlike any other guy she has met, I have a different style than anyone (read bottom of post for how I developed this more, as I believe everyone is unique and has their own style, its about bringing it out)
Crap, I can never remember the little details, but at some point, I was talking about "Power of Myth" with her and telling her how its answered some of my deepest questions. It was during break that I talked about this, I stood with my back against he wall and was talking to a few people at once about this, leading the conversation.
After doing my Power of Myth routine she was totally into me, learning into me while at the calling tables, crossing her legs towards me and everything.
But I am not going to hook up with co-workers. Seeing as how serious sex and relationships are, I don't feel mature enough to fuck a coworker, but she could make a great friend who can introduce me to other girls.
Next and finally---there has been this one Indian girl who is pretty fucking hot. I have been talking to her on facebook (with the help of my good friend and wing Ulysses) and I finally got her number and a day2 with her. I meet her up and she brings her sister along, apparently they are like best friends kind of deal.
It starts off with me waiting outside, and she calls me up and says
Her: "Where are you?"
Me: "I am outside, its nice out here, I'm under the shade"
Her: "Nooo its too hot out there, come in side"
Me: "No way, its awesome out here, you are totally missing out"
Her: "blah blah blah"
They meet me outside, nice!
So I meet up with her and she at first seems nervous, like she is forcing the rapport, but I just vibe. I start off asking a general question "have you guys walked around the city streets?" in the hopes to go into the Thug Routine TD made up. But as I asked that question, we just started riffing on any and every topic from food, to sports, to opinions on different things from TV to classes to random people, etc etc. It was about 40 minutes before I got into routines, just to save a silence.
She brought her sister, probably as some ASD thing or whatever, or maybe so our meeting wouldn't feel like a legit "date" but I connected with the sister more than her. Funny eh? The thing about her is, I think she was trying to act a bit ditsy around me, I'm not sure why. She was saying how she is into pop culture, like McDonald's, has never eaten seafood, doesn't like Seinfeld, basically she disagreed with most of the things I said, but that gave me the chance to make fun of her for it. The sister agreed with a lot of what I was saying, it was kind of funny.
I got the impression that she is awkward around guys unless they are always spiking her buy temperature. Thats cool, but that also too immature for me, so we'll see how this goes.
Another thing I have to add, she had black fingernail polish, so I saw it, complimented it and actually did the black fingernail routine Mystery made up. I said it was my friend whom it happened to, that routine is awesome, the girls were so giggly!
Even though I didn't connect with those girls on an emotional level, we sat for 1.5 hours and just chatted and shot the shit with almost no awkward silences. I got their buying temperatures to spike as I negged and told stories. It was great, great fun.
______
Okay, end of examples...
So without pretending like I am a guru and giving exact advice, I recommend this for building vibing skills:
I don't know the magical cure, I think it is different for every person, but hopefully that is the layout for what to do to find that magically cure.
It honestly really comes down to destroying limiting beliefs and letting your unique personality flow.
Now lets see if I can fuck all these girls I vibe with haha. Next on my list to master is deep rapport building and time bridges. I also may try out Match.com or Nerve.Com and give online game a try. Wish me luck.
.
Wow its been over a year since I wrote this (well over a year) and its funny how I go through ups and downs.
Sometimes, I don't feel like vibing. The info in the post flew out of memory, but now its coming back. What a trip reading your old posts.. hah
Posted by
BigSend |
Tuesday, November 13, 2007 2:10:00 AM