http://bigsendworld.com

So in doing my Okcupid thing, I have talked to a bunch of girls. I wrote out two posts from it, here is a third. I mentioned her, lets call her Js, in my last post and I actually had the date with her tonight. Here is how it went down:

I sent Js a message on Okcupid. I actually send out the same kind of message to every girl, but it's semi generic. That is, its not like some love poem or my life story and pretend like I sent it only to her. What I do is check out the girls profile, pictures, and test scores, see if I like it. If I do, I send a message saying I like her profile and that she should check out my profile to and see if she likes mine also. (I also ask a personal question that applies to what I'm interested in). So although the message is generic, it really might as well be specific. I only send it to girls I'd be interested in anyway. Now, if the girl does reply back, I notice it is fairly solid, the door is open to deeper rapport, and her replying implies that she is interested in me anyway, a very direct admission---again, in the initial message, I pretty much say "if you like me, message me back" but in slightly more tactful tongue----(You, come up with your own way of saying it if you choose to use my approach)

So Js responds back with a very humorous message. Thus, its on! Since we live in the same neighborhood, its says we are "0 miles away" so she made a joke that I live in the graveyard at the edge of our city. So we joked around on that and it was like our call-back humor line. We exchanged a few messages, but I was actually away at my parents place during that time, so we mostly talked on the site.Js also had some school obligations and needed to finish that so our messages were once every few days.

Finally school started and we began talking again. Although I am still "field testing" my Okcupid approach, I am honestly not doing much community related things. True, my profile is Davem -esque, but beyond that its not. I am simply creating rapport and connection with her. We exchanged long emails about our philosophies on life, what we enjoy doing & why, and also talked about our commonalities. (I love this kind of shit so much more than running game*).

After a lot of connecting and exchanging over Okcupid, I really wanted to take our rapport to a real level. I told her this and we exchanged numbers very naturally and easily. I called the next day (I think it was the next day...) and we talked on the phone for a full hour. She told me stories about where she traveled in the world---she has lived in other countries and traveled abroad a lot---and I told her about "The Secret" A.K.A. the "Law of Attraction" (LoA) which has been a big deal for me lately. (So now, along with posting about my phone consultation with AMP, I need to make a post about my LoA experience... haha).

I couldn't believe how long we talked. It was a similar conversation like with Jen, it flowed very well and time just flew by. I talked to a few other girls on the phone and the conversation just cut off after 20 minutes. One girl was like reading shit online while I was talking to her and we barely connected at all and that fizzled away. The point I'm trying to make is talking on the phone for 60 minutes is not a strategy or a manipulation technique---we were connecting so well that time just flew by. I really feel that is so key, to connect with a woman on a genuine, authentic level. None of this "Only talk for 15 minutes" rule. True, true giving a woman the gift of missing you is great and all the "rules" thecommunity has is grounded on basic mating mentality which does work. But I feel they really are just guidelines. Not rules. Rules are restricting and can pre-maturely break a connection. Guidelines allow exceptions and really bring the "Art" back in "Pick up Arts".

But that is just my opinion.... That is all... Perhaps my little resentment with the mainstream community is I misinterpreted the "rules" as set-in-stone laws that I followed with closed eyes---shit didn't work out that well of course and then as I learned more and more about women, I realized they are very far from set-in-stone. They are very goodguidelines.

Anywayz.. So we meet in real life at a local bar. The moment we meet, I feel the fire of connection. This wasn't like the girl from the previous night whom I felt almost 0 connection with and we just stumbled into sex. This girl,Js , I felt the fire right away. Her eyes were so bright, her vibe was so on, we were touching almost the whole night. Actually, first she touched me as a playful hit, then we got closer and closer as the night went on. Honestly, I don't remember what we talked about, but we talked the entire night.Ohh I remember! Hah, we started off talking about our families, what we enjoy doing, our favorite movies, etc. Nothing too deep, but we started to talk about more life experiences as time went on. We then decided to head upstairs to see what was going on. Turns out, some ultra-amateur comedy night was in session. Hah, these were like the WORSTcomedians ever, or they were just doing their comic routines for the very first time. Some jokes were funny, but in the end it just had me and Js look at each other and shake our heads and smile at each other.

Well we got out of there after about 10 minutes and walked up the stairs a bit further. The top part of the bar was closed off, but in the outside area was a totally random couch just sitting there. I mean, aperfectly comfortable, soft, clean couch was just SITTING right there. Fate! Perfect! We sit down and snuggle. Now, we're touching a lot.

I tell her I want to kiss her. She looks at me and we make out for a short period. We stop and then she really opens up to me. See, she used to be very religious and perhaps had some guilt and shame about kissing a guy on the first night. I felt it too and we went deep into the topic. I told her about myphilosophy on life, more specifically sex, polarity, relationships, masculinity, and femininity . She listened to me and really dug me. She opened up to me and told me she is very feminine. I told her about how feminine is naturally bi-sexual and I feel that statement made her open up more and I felt her hinting that she secretly is very attracted to women also. She seemed to think that it implied men could also fuck other men, so I tried to guide the thought of two masculine, leader, dominant, men ache-types don't put large,cylindrical objects up their butt. But Js has a bit of a way to go in learning about the ways of the Peaceful Warrior.

We didn't make out again for another 40 minutes. We really sat, talked, connected and opened up. It was great. And this time, I didn't get super drunk and put my entire presence into her, I kept it to myself and enjoyed her fully and I feel this made our date fucking fantastic. Amazing date! Just being present, enjoying myself, enjoying her, and focusing on the Now moment, as opposed to being in my head, are making my interactions with women, and men too, extremely enjoyable and deep.

So what did all that imply? Well I was listening to what she said and put my awareness in her. And at this point, she started holding my hand and gently rubbing me. I fucking love that and I was very happy she felt comfortable enough to do this with me. We started making out much harder and longer soon after, between talking deeper and deeper into life, polarity, and love.

Well, she had to get up very early the next day, 7AM to be exact. We were together from about 8PM till nearly 12AM.

One thing I can say for sure about this interaction is I do not feel attached, not the same way I felt with Jen, Claire, and other girls in the past. I felt like I enjoyed myself very much, I'd be very happy to see her again but my presents is still within myself. I didn't give away my power to anyone.

I really thank the Universe for getting me all these dates in a row, I keep learning more about women, more about myself, and more about connecting than ever before. Thanks toOkcupid too :-p (And there is still more to come! Though I may slow it down a bit as school starts to pick up speed again).




*I know I am being called out sometimes on me talking down on "Game" and the community. But I am not intending to talk down, I am just experimenting with other aspects of sexual, emotional, and personal connection. I feel indirect game fundamentally doesn't work for me because I feel weak when I do it. I feel strong when I am direct and say what I want. That's really it for now... but I respect the Mystery very much. If it weren't for him, I'd still be lurking somethingawful forums till 4AM and watching porn every night...

Labels: Field Reports

Posted by BigSend on Wednesday, April 02, 2008 at 4/02/2008 02:27:00 AM | Permalink