http://bigsendworld.com

I am taking a much needed break before my next Final, so I thought I'd reflect on what has been going on with me lately.

Besides the recent blogger mishaps and me getting a new domain bigsendworld.com, a LOT has been going on in my academic life that has taken up so much time, I barely even work out.

It all started when I began looking for internships in February. As we all know, the job market is shit and many of the top engineering companies are not taking new interns. So, I had to do something. I put my application out there in as many places as I could, but I knew I had to stay local.

So, along with with applying for internships, I also approached a few Professors to see if I could work in their lab. Now asking a professor to work in their lab can be a big deal to them since there is a cost to training me in both time and money perhaps. So unless I am a 4.0 student, have major connections, or I am a Grad student, I don't have too many options.

What I ended up doing is offering service as a Matlab programmer. Matlab is a computer language, much like C++ or Java, that a scientist uses to simulate and create mathematical models. It is a very big language with lots of things to learn (though it is much easier than C++). What I'd be doing is GUI programming on matlab. (GUI is a graphical user interlace, like Windows or OSX)

Then I also offered up my PowerPoint skills. Honestly, before this I never even know how to use Powerpoint, much less GUI development.

Either way, I knew I could learn it if I had to. So I approached these professors offering help in those categories. Personally, I thought I'd get at least one of the following: internship, matlab work, or power point work.

Shit, I ended up getting all 3! Thing is, the internship wasn't exactly my top pick, its going to have me drive about 25 miles a day there and back in a valley area.

The professor's work would happen now; the internship starts June 30th.

It was really insane trying to learn how to programming graphics in Matlab, learn power point, then also study for all my classes (taking a circuits call on transistors and diodes, digital logic class, and electrical communications class... fucking hard shit)

Powerpoint is not too bad, in fact once you see how it works, you can do almost anything within like an hour.

Matlab was something else. That had a steeper learning curve. Once you learn it, it is pretty straight forward, but understanding how Graphics works in computers was a whole issue in-it-of-itself. I mean, when you "click" on a window, what happens? Well an entire series of events happen and it should happen fairly instantly. Say you open an application in your start menu, close a browser window, etc etc. You need to take every scenario into account and program it.

Also, if you have 100 windows up, how do you avoid having 100 if-else statements for each type of function call? Well, you gotta understand what is really happening during a "call" and work with it.

I won't go into the details, but those projects, along with school work have really rendered me a workaholic this quarter.


Truth is, I fucking hate how I am bombarded with work. Some how, I came across this book The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris which is about how to create very efficient, low maintaince small businesses which stream money into you. It has very much opened my eyes. Why work 80 hours a week for 5 years trying to get 1 business up and running and get a little bit of cash out of it? You entire social and love life fall down the sewer.

I do consider this time in my life the ultimate prep for the future. This is why I work so hard.

As for women, I hooked up with a couple more girls off of Okcupid, but honestly I am almost completely over that online shit. Every fucking girl I get with is 30-40 Lbs over her pictures. Its like I am dating a big fucking lie. One girl I talked to recently had these very thin pictures of her face and neck, but in her profile she said "I am not looking for superficial guys who only like skinny girls blah blah blah" So in a message I told her "hey, I'm not sure what you are implying there but your pictures looks great! But at the same time, do you have photos showing more of your body. I met a few girls off here and they all looked nothing like their pictures"

She agrees and posts her picture up. My god... her face and neck are skinny, the rest of her body is just HUGE.

Jesus. I didn't even know that could exist, I thought the face and neck get fat along with everything else.

Now, I am not saying I have anything against fat girls. I just think its very low to post false pictures. Lying about a few inches of height is bad, lying about your age is bad, but putting up false pictures is crossing the line!

In the end, I gotta just laugh. Its just how it is.


With that said, I have been focusing on LoA (law of attraction) quite a bit. I have to say, in small ways the things I am asking for are coming true, slowly but surely. One of my askings is for hot women to come over and start talking to me. Lately, that does happen. I met an amazing, feminine girl who is from Turkey. He have a huge chemical spark between us, but she is going back to Turkey very soon. Another girl who is usually very aloof and non-talkative has been initiating conversations with me off and on over the past few weeks in class. Also some very non-attractive girls have been starting conversations with me too.

I swear, if it weren't for bad logistics, the chemistry I had with the first two girls could have definitely escalated.

But unless a girl is willing to get down fast, I don't have time to date (much less update this blog). Okcupid seems to have a lot of girls wanting to get down fast, but again all of them had old photos.

Also, someone emailed me or posted a comment asking for an update on LoA. Its coming along. I don't have hard evidence yet, but things like asking for money to come to me has: I was paid by those professors to do work for them.

One trick to LoA is any event in life that "seems" to be in line with what you asked for is a hint it is coming true. So even though I didn't stumble across a winning lottery ticket, I got offered work and was paid for it.

My goals for this blog is to move to to bigsendworld.com and create an online doorway into my life for people to visit and check out. I want to post about how LoA is doing, dating, all with a more spiritual tone to it, my career, and recent revelations/life discoveries.

My career goal is really to create a very low maintainance, highly profitable small business that streams cash into me, much like Steve Pavlina. Or perhaps I may keep going with academics and technology development. Maybe I will invent something of high value and I could sustain that as a business.

Fuck guys, the future is really starting now. I graduate in 1 year. My options are Gradschool (MS, PhD, or business), working in an engineering firm (yuck! especially with only a BS degree), or starting my own business. Right now I am trying to plant the seeds for that that.

Labels: Goals

Posted by BigSend on Monday, June 09, 2008 at 6/09/2008 05:27:00 PM | Permalink