The Last Day with Stephane and his Circle
The events here are actually from about 2 weeks ago. It was Monday night and I had just gotten out of Krav Maga. In fact this is right after the events of my last blog post here. The last thing I wrote was: Labels: OutingsSo back to the girl, she started to play aloof after Krav ended. I went
over to talk to her and she acted like she was holding something in and
then walked over to some other guys. Trying to make me jealous or
hoping to feel my Yang masculine energy, sweep her off her feet in
front of 5 guys as she walks past me. Nahh, Fuck that. And fuck her
too. I’m almost over it, too much grinding gears with her. Its turning
into a cat mouse game and my ego has had it.
My heart onlyknows love and acceptance and I am doing this as a practice to go with
my heart. Though we vibe well but she is just so immature and lower
than my conscious level (and seeing as how I am crying about a shitty
Krav lesson, that doesn’t say much hah)—I say this because she clearly
is a slave to her stimulus-responses and if she is meant to grow,
she’ll end up with me; one day she’ll end up reading these blog posts,
feeling very insecure, angry and resentful but if she knows what’s best
for her, she’ll stick around.
Picking up from where I left off, I went home afterwards and took a shower and chilled. I actually texted the girl asking what was up---something is keeping me on her. Not sure, I think my deep love for women, my forgiving heart, or my fantasy of fucking. I am still figuring that out. Anyway as we texted each other were about to finalize plans to study together when I get a call from Ghita, Stephane's girlfriend, telling me to come to Arne Morton's Steakhouse with them. Now, usually I don't like to be very spontaneous, especially when I have so many other things to do. That is, I have a final 6 days away, I was in the middle of making plans with my girl, but Stephane and the IG crew are like a family to me. I felt compelled to be with them before they fly back to Montreal Canada. So I said "ummm mmmaayyybbeee.." but Ghita just said "What I can't hear you. Is that the sound of traffic in the background, you coming?" And I laughed. Her energy is just so positive, loving and funny. My ego mind was saying "No, you have to study, you have to do this, meet with your girl, do that, you aren't dressed right, blah blah" I turned off my mind, relaxed and said "Yes I'll go."
Boom, took 5 minutes putting my clothes on, combed my hair and I was out of the house. Time -- 10:30 PM. Pretty late for a school night hah. I get to Arne's at around 11:00 PM which is pretty good time and they are finishing up eating. My new good friend Sie offers me the rest of his steak and Stephane pours me a glass of wine. I show them the text messages I was tossing back and forth with my girl and said "Yep guys, I gave up this night for you" and Steph just says "You are a fool!" Maybe I was. Reading the above passage, I was not very happy with her. Looking back, I feel her conscious isn't that low---she just "gets" to my ego/pride. But I am growing through this. My interaction and relationship with her is the first polarized, masculine, "I'm on my mission, you are on for the ride" relationship ever. Things are moving at weird paces (I'll get back to that later, perhaps in another blog post but I just spent the evening with her Saturday night. No sex though, more on that later)
About 30-45 minutes of hanging out leads to us outside, smoking some cigarettes, drinking the rest the wine from the bottle and Sie filming all of us in the Circle Documentary program---which I believe is to be named the Girlfriend Whisperer. I was a bit tipsy when he filmed me and began a story 456 recently told me. The story went something like: "A flood came over a land and everyone left except one man who said, 'God will rescue me' The flood water grew so high he went to the top of his house and a rescue boat came by. The man refused rescue again saying 'No. God will rescue me' Next, as the water kept rising a helicopter came and again the man said 'No. God will rescue me.' Then he was engulfed in the water".
A friend of ours, Kage who owns a limo company (here) brought along his stretch limo to drive us around, which was fucking awesome. This was my first time ever in a limo and it was great. We all got in, laughing, filming and enjoying this life of abundance and luxury. Kage was driving us, but we could feel his energy from the front. In the limo, as we drove towards Steph's hotel, Ghita, Amy Jo and Greta along with Stephane were all on one side of the limo for a good portion of it. Now I can't say for sure, but as me and Sie and Miguel and a few others were laughing, talking, and drinking we noticed some intense sexual energy begin filling the limo. It wasn't like something bad or suspicious was happening, there was this sudden turn from laughing, fun energy to purely sexual energy. Looking over, Greta was blocking most of the view, Steph was motioning us to not peep or something (actually his hand motions could have been "come watch!" but the vibe was so hard to read. It was a thick sexual vibe in the air). Of course, after adjusting our position, we the saw the intense beauty of giving love. I couldn't see much---perhaps for the better as its really not my business seeing it---but what amazing sexual energy in the air. I asked Steph later "Is it always like this---are you constantly in this honeymoon relationship phase?" And he says "Yeah, its always like this pretty much."
We get to the Hotel room and everyone winds down a bit. Steph sits next to me and we have a deep conversation which ends with him telling me to fuck the community, just read "Wild Nights" by David Deida and you are set. I just started reading it now and he could be right, that book emphasises the beauty of all that is woman and what it means to be one with that beauty. It is true, lately I am realizing that community manipulation is all wrong. Its bull, true pick up is all about honesty, respect, and sticking by your principals as a human---the women who can handle it are "picked up" the ones who can't are dropped. More on that later as I continue down this path.
Kage asked me if he could crash at his place, "Of course" I say and around 1AM we head home. Kage has his stretch limo and there was a bit of a concern about where to Park. I told him "Yeah affirmation and positive thinking is good for finding a parking spot, but Kage this is the city, realistically we are not going to find 3+ empty spots in a row!" So we found a spot very far away and I drove them back to my place... when RIGHT next to my apartment, a huge section of a block was COMPLETELY open! I have NEVER seen this in my life, maybe 1-2 spots in a row, but nothing this big. It was a fucking sign. So I reserved the spot for him as he and FaithNoMore (FNM -- another friend with us) drove back to his limo to park there. At my apartment him and FNM felt it is a good idea to do some kriya yoga mediation, but my apartment is too dirty :( Kriya must be done in a clean environment... Yeah college boy's apartments just need to be functional. Instead we do our own mediation, I felt incredible love energy coming out of FNM as he is a healer. Kage, I let him borrow my chakra crystals (which I shit you not, help energy flow through your body. I did NOT believe it till I felt it profoundly. I got to write a post on that later too haha). We all relaxed and calmed and then went to sleep---though FNM went home.
The next day I helped Steph with his bags as he wouldn't be able to fit them all in one car, thus no extra cab needed. Me, Kage, Steph and the Circle went to the airport, we said our goodbye's. I told Steph he could market the BGTP as really a more advanced GTP geared towards bisexual girls and maintaining multiple long term relationships mLTRs. But he didn't want to associate BGTP to that energy of mLTR. Though circles have multiple girls in it, it is not like separate relationships. It is all one. So though Steph didn't go for the idea, I really want Ideagasms to be huge and apparently BGTP isn't selling the way it ought to. I want all truth seekers to find ideagasms---that is, IG isn't for everyone---but as long as the right people can find it, it is good. Actually, I'm hoping IG gets big enough to start a dating database thing where bisexual couples can look for third couples. From what I've seen, the best circles form when the 3rd (or 4th) girl are already into the lifestyle beforehand.
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I definitely feel with you man... about everything. I really sense that you and the girl have a lot of good potential energy... keep meditating on it and keep following up. don't let her go until the very bitter end! I really really learned a lot through your blog, thank you for making me a better man. lol
(excuse my ego please) About BGTP, it is probably better to give it to people who are ready for it, then to market it to many people who can abuse it.
p.s. don't shoot me down for ejaculating my opinion here, but the last thing about a database of bisexual girls might not work. it seems too inorganic, unnatural, lazy, and would probably kill the energy that steph envisions for circles
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007 1:15:00 PM