My blog has moved! Redirecting…

You should be automatically redirected. If not, visit http://bigsendworld.com and update your bookmarks.

Surrendered My Nervousness + Opened my Heart = Best Date Ever

Somehow I got the inspiration to check out Okcupid again, a free myspace-ish dating site. I wouldn't categorize it as a Match or Singles site because there really is no pressure, no money involved, and people go on there to meet normal friends, activity partners. Their matching system finds you good friends as well as potential partners.

I used Match about a year ago and it didn't feel right. The girls felt a bit jaded so I shied away from it for a while.

So as school keeps taking over, I have less and less time to go out and socialize. I try to talk to girls on campus, but it is definitely forced. I don't naturally bump into attractive girls in my engineering classes or in the labs, ya know?

I feel like I am giving excuses, so enough with that. A little while ago I wrote out a list of traits I look for in a woman. Included in them was a very warm smile, loving, attractive, nice boobs, and also warm hands and feet, very cuddly, loves sex, a giver, open, smiling, laughs a lot, and willing to listen to me and learn from me. Those are a lot of things…

I meet a girl on Okcupid, but this time I don't do any community* and act like someone I'm not. Some of the community rules are to get her phone number as fast as possible, never talk on AIM (or else you're labeled an "IM friend" or something), etc etc. Fuck all that! I like talking on AIM, I have been using it since I was about 10 years old, so I am used to it.

So back to the beginning. A girl, lets call her J, about 25 miles away from me woo's me. (I notice this is how girls seem to act on Okcupid, they'll send you a woo and go from there.) I wouldn't have found her since I search within 10 miles, but either way I message her back. Her profile seemed great; I sensed fun energy from her pictures and profile and a very warm vibe. So I send a very simple message back asking her what she is like. She responds back very with a very thoughtful message and based on what she said, I knew I found a cool girl on here.

J and I sent messages back and forth, going more in depth till I finally say "we need to talk on the phone or AIM at least" and she agreed, gave me her number and AIM but asked to stick to AIM for now since she was rather busy. That's fine. If I were taking community advice, they would say to "Just call her, be alpha, ruler of your world blah blah" Nah, my style now is considerate, respectful, and lots of qualification.

So we talk online and vibe real well. Very similar interests, including an undying love for The Beatles and other superficial traits. A couple days later we talk on the phone and the conversation is a bit stale, but it wasn't bad either. (Later she mentioned she isn't very good on the phone). Either way we talk for almost an hour and I told her my situation. I want to meet her, but it can either be Thursday or all the way next week since I am studying for finals. And I don't want to wait a week! She agreed also and said she'd come out to see me. Nice!

Before the actual meet up, I start to feel a bit nervous. I think it is because I have been building up this girl's image in my mind of who she will be and now that it is crunch time I get to see what's up. I relax, meditate a little but what really helped me the most was surrendering. Just saying to myself "Whatever happens, happens. I surrender this to The Universe/God/Fate/(whatever you want to call it)." I also caught myself thinking about bad scenarios, like what if this or that happens. I stopped myself. If you are aware of the law of attraction, we bring into our life what we focus on most strongly. So instead I focused on all the good traits I look for in a woman. Caring, nurturing, likes public displays of affection, exudes beauty, open heart, great breasts, warm hands and feet, a giver, open talker, likes to use her tongue a lot in kissing, etc etc. I just imagined how fucking awesome it would be if she had these traits. And if she didn't, oh well I surrender it to God/Fate. I will take it as it comes.

Now the actual meet up. We meet at a local bar, by the door. She sends me a text as she walks in, so I read it while she is walking in. My attention is on the phone, but I feel it is her coming through the door. I read it fast, look up and we greet. "Are you J?" and it's her and we hug. I can feel nervous energy in the air, but that is okay. We walk around and I show her the bar a bit. I also buy a drink for her. I know there is this whole "Who Pays" shit, but I like paying, I feel being a provider is in my blood as a man; I want my women taken care of.

Before I go on, since I mentioned "The Secret" and fantasizing about what you want to happen, part of my imagination had me teaching her how to play pool by touching her as I did it, like guiding her hand and body. Her making shots, and me making out with her after. More on that later.

We go up stairs and check out the pool tables, I notice the furniture of the bar has been moved around, but that is okay. Meanwhile, I mentioned this in another post but I am studying Authentic Man and Ideagasms and learning how to get in touch with who I truly am, and also merging/getting in touch with other people. So as we were talking, I stayed as present as possible and notice how attracted to her I was. I just allowed that feeling to come over me as I looked at her, and I notice she would blush. That's good! But, I didn't let her blushing stop me. The entire night I was smiling, looking at her deeply, and having fun.

Note: This is not some technique. My intent wasn't to "seduce" her with my gaze. My intent was to enjoy myself and I enjoyed being with her.

So we get a pool table and we start playing. I was actually playing really bad and a bit lazy. I was having fun, but pool can take me into my head a lot sometimes. Well J was a newbie so eventually, yes, I did end up teaching her, exactly as I imagined it. I helped her get her first shot in. I showed her the theory I knew and held her body and arms as I did it.

As this went on, we became warmer and warmer to each other. I spoke my truth. I told her I can be tongue tied sometimes (I think while I was gazing in her eyes) and also, I really wanted to make out with her at one point but held back—I told her this and she said "awww no don't!" I think the PUA community calls that an IOI haha. Soon, I am helping her out again in making a shot and make out with her after. She's really into it too! It was awesome. Ohh and she has good breath, that was another trait haha!
Since we were both driving, we stop drinking there and I invite her back to my place for some wine and to watch LOST. She is happy to come along. I show her around my apartment, my great balcony, and we go into my room with the wine.

Now without going into gory details, I played some of the games AMP talks about, like the game where you look into your girls eyes, and try to completely synch up with her. Then she is supposed to say any color like "red" or "yellow" and as she is saying it, you are supposed to sense what she is saying and speak it with her. It takes a lot of connection and rapport for this and it builds connection too. I fucking loved that game! Its on the Power of Presence program at AMP.

We didn't have sex or go beyond kissing. She made a decision before hand that she'd leave early, although looking back I think she secretly wanted me to push for it. She said "stop looking at me like that, I need to leave early" Why oh WHY didn't I realize exactly what that meant. In fact, I did know what it meant, but I didn't act on it and I don't know why. I think I wanted our first time having sex to have no resistance and I knew I'd have to push through a few barriers this time. Either way, I kind of regret it. Well I surrendered that feeling on regret and I still feel great. One thing I noticed is I may have seemed very eager near the end. She honestly fit almost every trait I was looking for and I may have seemed like I was putting her up on a pedestal. So I kind of fear I over qualified her. I was saying things like "Wow, I think I struck gold with you" and whenever she matched something liked, I was like "FUCK YES!!" (pretty much, didn't exactly wake up the neighbors but yeah…)

I surrendered that fear of losing her too.

No matter what happens, the night went great and I consider it my best date so far, she told me she thinks we are a great match. I thought so too. She said she really liked me, I said so too. I'm not sure if my eagerness in the end threw her off, but as of now she doesn't seem very enthusiastic, nor added me on myspace (I clicked for an add). I think those are bad signs, but again I am surrendering all these petty fears and just taking life moment by moment.

This date was a great lesson in The Secret, wishing for what I truly want. It was also an amazing experience connecting and letting myself feel and express everything that comes up. Yes, I do really want to see her again, Yes I really want to have sex with her and cuddle (yes cuddle, she is so warm and cuddly) and Yes I love the way she makes me feel. I am a "Yes" to this. But I am also a "Yes" to her changing her mind on me and not calling back. I am a Yes to that. I believe that is the only way to be truly free of your negative emotions is to surrender them. Be a "Yes" to the good and the bad.

If any of you are interested in Authentic Man Program or Ideagasms, check out the links above. Those two places are legit and my life feels so much smoother now. More specifically, I bought the Power of Appreciation from AMP and I feel that program is helping me realizing what surrendering really means. It means being a Yes to everything. Appreciating life for what it is—not just appreciating when everything goes my way, but appreciating always. It's hard and I may have over did it last night and seemed over eager, I know girls can over think that shit and be like "why did he like me so much" blah blah. But I am a Yes to it. I know the accepting gaze I gave her had a huge effect and really amplified our connection.

Well I better get back to studying for finals. Send me prayers to help me get through these exams!

*Don't get me wrong, the community is a great place to learn black-and-while rules that will at least help a completely clueless person, like myself when I was younger. I just can't stand some of the black-and-while rules. One guru said "If the girl tests you or says something negative, just ignore it and pretend you didn't hear anything" Wow what a great relationship that must be… We'll just ignore each other when the other person feels bad…

Labels: , ,

Posted by BigSend at 3/14/2008 06:52:00 PM | | Comments

A Day with BradP and More Honesty

Today was a rather interesting day in my journey. The last few days BradP and I exchanged emails regarding an interview he needs for his new program, which I believe is to be called "Metamorphosis Method" where he takes his students step by step through the learning process. Since I have been around the block, worked with Brad’s material and had some cool success with it all, he asked me to do an interview and I did. My only compensation was if I could call him if/when I am in a relationship crisis and get a phone consultation, oh and I got dinner after.

I felt the interview went great. I asked Brad to tell me the questions ahead of time and I was really able to think about the answers, put them in my best words. The questions regarded social anxiety and at what age I started having social fears and how I am working to rid myself of them. If you check my past posts, I wrote about Brad’s Social Anxiety workshop and how we went through a sort of step by step exercise of healing our social anxieties.

In my own progress I noticed I experience two types of anxieties, in this context. One type of anxiety occurs when I am acting—as in, I approach a group with canned material and sort of act out a skit in a way. I feel as though I am still hiding behind a veil and all I need to do is run the material. The other type of anxiety is when I am completely honest, up front, and truthful. This type of anxiety is the difference between going up to a fuckable girl and asking her "who lies more, men or women" and saying "Hey, I love the energy coming up from you, I am curious about who you are." One is honest; the other is beating around the bush.

Now don’t get me wrong, learning how to socially interact in any situation and with any words is very important—canned or honest. But I noticed that I felt a different type of fear when I approached out of pure honesty than pure acting. I could go on for pages and pages about congruencies, contingencies, calibration, etc. You know: sometimes it is inappropriate to be completely honest, other times it is just funner to flirt and play games. But to me, it would be fucking awesome to have the option of telling my full truth and feeling 100% good about it. Before, I didn’t have that option due to bull shit social anxieties.

So in the interview, I talked about some of my first social experiences growing up. One of which was a kid in my 2nd grade class who asked me "Hey do you think you’re cool?" and I said "Yeah, I am cool!" and he replied "No! If you are cool, you can’t think you’re cool!" blah blah. Well as a 2nd grader, I did take that word as gospel and if I recall, from those moments onward, I began slowly policing my thoughts, restricting my actions to make sure I am always "cool" whatever cool means anyway.

Anyway, if you buy his product, you’ll hear my whole interview. After this, Brad got me some dinner from California Pizza Kitchen. I got the Carne Asasa pizza and holy fucking shit! That was the best pizza I’ve had in years. Anyway, it was cool hanging out with Brad, just on a normal level. We didn’t talk game as much, actually talked politics and normal shit. What I realized afterwards was Whoa… Brad is a normal guy, just like me and my friends. He is a guy who had a dream, worked hard to achieve it (pick up, starting a business, writing books) and he is doing it. He told me a goal of his was to be well off in his own place, steady income, and be a big influence in the dating community in two years (shit I think he said that, I could be botching up his words badly haha) and he achieved exactly that. Nice. Props to him.

As I mentioned above, a different type of anxiety I feel is when I am being completely honest. This extends to seeing a girl I find very attractive and approaching her, honestly telling her how I feel. This also extends to telling a girl to go down on me, fuck me harder (or any other PG-R-X rated thing that happens in a relationship) and be totally congruent and 100% about it. Yeah—congruent, that is the word! Do I feel 100% socially free when I am honest? Am I congruent with being honest? The answer was no.

BradP has a social anxiety product (found here) where he gives about 20 exercises geared at re-training your brain to unlearn previous social conditioned fears. He offers more advice and I found it to be a very valuable program, highly recommend—it does what it says. But there are two ways to do the exercises. One way is out of acting, another way is out of pure honesty. Here is the difference: one of the first exercises is asking someone for the time. For me, when I really need to know the time, I’ll ask any one, no problem. But when I don’t really care for the time, I am just doing it for the sake of doing it, I feel an "acting anxiety." When I approach a group of girls with a canned opener I will feel acting anxiety, but on a much larger level. However, when I approach a girl with an honest opener, I will feel "Honest Anxiety."

It is "Honesty Anxiety" I am trying to eliminate or extremely reduce from my life at this point. My goal now is not so much to go in field and be a fun club guy with cool lines and stories, but instead my goal is to feel 100% free being 100% honest. My interview with Brad focused on that, for better or worse! Haha, in the end, I wasn’t completely sure that is what he wanted, but I felt real fucking good about the interview, so either case it will sound good and hopefully help out his students.

Later on that night, I met up with Ulysses and our mutual friend A. H. at a bar. Without going into all the gory details, I decide to open a set that caught my eye. They were standing by us, I felt their energy emanating and what I did was meditated (i.e., got out of my brain and into my heart) and felt the situation out, and I just approached with "Hey, I noticed you guys standing here and you have great energy. I am curious about you" I had a smile on my face, I felt 100% honest and congruent and it opened like Whoa, perfectly. In fact, one girl couldn’t hear and I had to repeat myself, but that was all good. Me repeating myself didn’t deter from the progress. We all talked, Ulysses jumped in and A. H. left at that point. Now a few things didn’t go 100% well, I ended up talking to the girl I didn’t feel strong attraction for (I felt attraction for the other girl) but Ulysses was talking to her. My bad, I should have communicated this with Ulysses somehow. Either way, what happened was Ulysses kind of took over the set as they got fascinated in his business—he is a social fundamentals co-founder and coach. Turns out the girl I talked to first was really into Ulysses but the other girl disappeared. I knew she was out for a cigarette, I felt it, but I needed evidence. After about 5 minutes of sitting and doing nothing as Ulysses chatted up his girl, I asked Ulysses for a cigarette, went outside and saw her there. We had a real great conversation which could have gone very far—I felt lots of sexual energy, but ahhh 5 minutes later her friends comes by and pulls her away. Not sure why she pulled her away, but it could be for any reason. I think they expected us to come back inside. Instead, we decided to bail and we did. Again, skipping gory details, this is the Universe reinforcing the fact that Honesty is where it’s at now.

Labels: , , ,

Posted by BigSend at 12/23/2007 04:52:00 AM | | Comments

The Last Day with Stephane and his Circle

The events here are actually from about 2 weeks ago. It was Monday night and I had just gotten out of Krav Maga. In fact this is right after the events of my last blog post here. The last thing I wrote was:

So back to the girl, she started to play aloof after Krav ended. I went
over to talk to her and she acted like she was holding something in and
then walked over to some other guys. Trying to make me jealous or
hoping to feel my Yang masculine energy, sweep her off her feet in
front of 5 guys as she walks past me. Nahh, Fuck that. And fuck her
too. I’m almost over it, too much grinding gears with her. Its turning
into a cat mouse game and my ego has had it.

My heart onlyknows love and acceptance and I am doing this as a practice to go with
my heart. Though we vibe well but she is just so immature and lower
than my conscious level (and seeing as how I am crying about a shitty
Krav lesson, that doesn’t say much hah)—I say this because she clearly
is a slave to her stimulus-responses and if she is meant to grow,
she’ll end up with me; one day she’ll end up reading these blog posts,
feeling very insecure, angry and resentful but if she knows what’s best
for her, she’ll stick around.

Picking up from where I left off, I went home afterwards and took a shower and chilled. I actually texted the girl asking what was up---something is keeping me on her. Not sure, I think my deep love for women, my forgiving heart, or my fantasy of fucking. I am still figuring that out. Anyway as we texted each other were about to finalize plans to study together when I get a call from Ghita, Stephane's girlfriend, telling me to come to Arne Morton's Steakhouse with them. Now, usually I don't like to be very spontaneous, especially when I have so many other things to do. That is, I have a final 6 days away, I was in the middle of making plans with my girl, but Stephane and the IG crew are like a family to me. I felt compelled to be with them before they fly back to Montreal Canada. So I said "ummm mmmaayyybbeee.." but Ghita just said "What I can't hear you. Is that the sound of traffic in the background, you coming?" And I laughed. Her energy is just so positive, loving and funny. My ego mind was saying "No, you have to study, you have to do this, meet with your girl, do that, you aren't dressed right, blah blah" I turned off my mind, relaxed and said "Yes I'll go."

Boom, took 5 minutes putting my clothes on, combed my hair and I was out of the house. Time -- 10:30 PM. Pretty late for a school night hah. I get to Arne's at around 11:00 PM which is pretty good time and they are finishing up eating. My new good friend Sie offers me the rest of his steak and Stephane pours me a glass of wine. I show them the text messages I was tossing back and forth with my girl and said "Yep guys, I gave up this night for you" and Steph just says "You are a fool!" Maybe I was. Reading the above passage, I was not very happy with her. Looking back, I feel her conscious isn't that low---she just "gets" to my ego/pride. But I am growing through this. My interaction and relationship with her is the first polarized, masculine, "I'm on my mission, you are on for the ride" relationship ever. Things are moving at weird paces (I'll get back to that later, perhaps in another blog post but I just spent the evening with her Saturday night. No sex though, more on that later)

About 30-45 minutes of hanging out leads to us outside, smoking some cigarettes, drinking the rest the wine from the bottle and Sie filming all of us in the Circle Documentary program---which I believe is to be named the Girlfriend Whisperer. I was a bit tipsy when he filmed me and began a story 456 recently told me. The story went something like: "A flood came over a land and everyone left except one man who said, 'God will rescue me' The flood water grew so high he went to the top of his house and a rescue boat came by. The man refused rescue again saying 'No. God will rescue me' Next, as the water kept rising a helicopter came and again the man said 'No. God will rescue me.' Then he was engulfed in the water".

A friend of ours, Kage who owns a limo company (here) brought along his stretch limo to drive us around, which was fucking awesome. This was my first time ever in a limo and it was great. We all got in, laughing, filming and enjoying this life of abundance and luxury. Kage was driving us, but we could feel his energy from the front. In the limo, as we drove towards Steph's hotel, Ghita, Amy Jo and Greta along with Stephane were all on one side of the limo for a good portion of it. Now I can't say for sure, but as me and Sie and Miguel and a few others were laughing, talking, and drinking we noticed some intense sexual energy begin filling the limo. It wasn't like something bad or suspicious was happening, there was this sudden turn from laughing, fun energy to purely sexual energy. Looking over, Greta was blocking most of the view, Steph was motioning us to not peep or something (actually his hand motions could have been "come watch!" but the vibe was so hard to read. It was a thick sexual vibe in the air). Of course, after adjusting our position, we the saw the intense beauty of giving love. I couldn't see much---perhaps for the better as its really not my business seeing it---but what amazing sexual energy in the air. I asked Steph later "Is it always like this---are you constantly in this honeymoon relationship phase?" And he says "Yeah, its always like this pretty much."

We get to the Hotel room and everyone winds down a bit. Steph sits next to me and we have a deep conversation which ends with him telling me to fuck the community, just read "Wild Nights" by David Deida and you are set. I just started reading it now and he could be right, that book emphasises the beauty of all that is woman and what it means to be one with that beauty. It is true, lately I am realizing that community manipulation is all wrong. Its bull, true pick up is all about honesty, respect, and sticking by your principals as a human---the women who can handle it are "picked up" the ones who can't are dropped. More on that later as I continue down this path.

Kage asked me if he could crash at his place, "Of course" I say and around 1AM we head home. Kage has his stretch limo and there was a bit of a concern about where to Park. I told him "Yeah affirmation and positive thinking is good for finding a parking spot, but Kage this is the city, realistically we are not going to find 3+ empty spots in a row!" So we found a spot very far away and I drove them back to my place... when RIGHT next to my apartment, a huge section of a block was COMPLETELY open! I have NEVER seen this in my life, maybe 1-2 spots in a row, but nothing this big. It was a fucking sign. So I reserved the spot for him as he and FaithNoMore (FNM -- another friend with us) drove back to his limo to park there. At my apartment him and FNM felt it is a good idea to do some kriya yoga mediation, but my apartment is too dirty :( Kriya must be done in a clean environment... Yeah college boy's apartments just need to be functional. Instead we do our own mediation, I felt incredible love energy coming out of FNM as he is a healer. Kage, I let him borrow my chakra crystals (which I shit you not, help energy flow through your body. I did NOT believe it till I felt it profoundly. I got to write a post on that later too haha). We all relaxed and calmed and then went to sleep---though FNM went home.

The next day I helped Steph with his bags as he wouldn't be able to fit them all in one car, thus no extra cab needed. Me, Kage, Steph and the Circle went to the airport, we said our goodbye's. I told Steph he could market the BGTP as really a more advanced GTP geared towards bisexual girls and maintaining multiple long term relationships mLTRs. But he didn't want to associate BGTP to that energy of mLTR. Though circles have multiple girls in it, it is not like separate relationships. It is all one. So though Steph didn't go for the idea, I really want Ideagasms to be huge and apparently BGTP isn't selling the way it ought to. I want all truth seekers to find ideagasms---that is, IG isn't for everyone---but as long as the right people can find it, it is good. Actually, I'm hoping IG gets big enough to start a dating database thing where bisexual couples can look for third couples. From what I've seen, the best circles form when the 3rd (or 4th) girl are already into the lifestyle beforehand.

Labels:

Posted by BigSend at 12/17/2007 09:18:00 PM | | Comments

Pictures! Stephane's 3 Hot Girlfriends

And I was there, watching and learning! This was an incredible weekend and the first time I have ever seen a real circle in action (just in case, a circle is where one man is dating multiple women and the women are all dating each other too) and here are some pictures of it going down:
Clicking on them will take you to his BGTP (Bisexual Girlfriend Training Program) product. I just started listening to it (plus I was there) and I realize the concepts in here are like 10-fold more intense than some of the GTP stuff, everything BGTP related applies to the old GTP concepts it seems. Will write more as I continue with BGTP but its very worth getting, trust me)


Anyway, the following pictures are mostly of them doing a recording session. I reference it in my last blog post before this one.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Labels:

Posted by BigSend at 11/27/2007 09:16:00 PM | | Comments

Spent Last Friday with Dante "Rock Star Casanova"

I'm a bit lagging on posts, but I just had two midterms and a third one coming up. I haven't been able to go out too much lately but this is a sacrifice I am making. Becoming a solid engineer such that I can make or join a start up and be hugely successful is a grand goal of mine. Women are second. To digress a bit, I think it is very important not to see girls as a goal, but instead to see them as a reward. Going out on a Friday night and "sarging" is more like developing social skills. I honestly believe that inner game is what attracts a woman on all her levels---social calibration and "game" just help you communicate that more effectively. Don't get me wrong, if a person has no calibration (i.e., not socially savy) but has great inner game, he may not get laid. Who knows. Also, if a person has amazing "Game" he could probably trick a girl long enough to fuck him with his game, but inner game is what those fragile creatures we call females need, imho.

Any how, school has taken over but I was able to go out last Friday night and meet up with Dante Valentine who is the main guy over at RockStar Casanova. He is offering me a position to help administer his web forums which I'd be more than happy to help him out. That shouldn't take too much time from school, I could do it in my spare time. But I really like this guy, he believes in me (or says he does haha). Either case, we hung out Friday and met up at Saddle Ranch (same place Style talks about in "The Game") and saw a few boot camps there. Asian Playboy (APB) along with my friend 456 who is an intern there were holding a work shop.

Ohh I got to add, I did the "Parking" gratitude affirmation and found a parking spot RIGHT on Sunset Blvd & La Cieniga! Just put like $1.25 in the meter! And by sheer coincidence, 456 and APB were walking up the road as I pulled in and we crossed paths. They just got out of some $15 zone :) Not to brag or put them down but, the Lord and I are mighty close friends. Either way, this is the first time I met APB. Interesting fella---I asked him "Hey are you APB" and it seemed like he wanted to say something really cocky funny, paused a sec, then just said "Yeah. Thats me" and we talked about parking spots for a minute. hah, that's about it so far.

So back to the night, I head over to Saddle Ranch and just chill a bit, talk to random people and socialize. I talk to a big group of girls and open them with some random situational "Hey, did you guys know there was a New York Times bestseller about this place?" and we talked about that, however the girls weren't too much into me after about 2-3 minutes. Next! I saw Johnny Wolf, another APB instructor and head of the SoCalLair. So I was just schmoozing. One article I read somewhere (I think Dante said it) was that when sarging, we should always be socializing. Even if its just with guys or friends or ugly girls or whatever, we should always be talking, laughing, in rapport, doing something. But standing around with our mouths shut is not going to help. If you think about it, some day we are going to break out of that shyness shell, why not now?

Soon Dante arrived. We chilled a bit, he has a natural coolness to him---I posted about it before. But he was tired, said he fucked 3 times that day and wassarging every day that week. So he actually didn't open any sets. We talked a bit about business, discussing the forums and later the possibility that I could instruct for him when I get better at pick up. That would be really good, but I have to pass a few more thresholds before I'd feel right teaching someone.

Dante also observed my game, saw me get into a few sets and observed how I act in them. He made some great observations for me which I want to journal now:
  1. I should only move my hands to emphasize a point. Don't move them in general
    • Moving hands and arms around is a sign of nervousness
    • Unless you are moving them around to help describe a situation.
      • Eg. "I was swimming for my life! "
  2. Voice Tone
    • When I am in attraction phase, I need to almost sing when I talk to the girl
    • That is, not literally sing, but have a lot of voice fluctuation
      • I.e., NO monotone
        • I don't think I'm that much of a monotone, but definitely could use some work.
  3. Eye Contact
    • I need to work on how I keep my eye contact with a girl
    • I forgot exactly what Dante said, but it reminded me a lot of what Leil Lowndes talks about in "How to Talk to Anyone"
      • She has a chapter on how to keep eye contact
      • Either case, this is something I need to work on.
  4. Vary my Faccial Expressions
    • This is kind of advanced and requires a lot of calibration
    • But when in attraction phase, when talking about something sad, have a happy face
    • When talking about something happy, have a bit of a frown
      • I believe the idea here is to make the girl become curious and raise her interest level

I definitely need to think about all those, especially #4. I discussed #4 with a friend and he disagreed thinking it was weird. But honestly, I think there is something to it. Its hard to put my finger on it, but I will keep it floating around. The truth is, the advice above is not general. It was given to me specifically to address some sicking points. So you guys may not agree or see how this is important because you don't have these SP's..


Dante gave me the advice free, but I can see myself working with him soon. Maybe paying for a smaller camp as my game gets better. We shall see.

One last thing I want to add: after bar hopping in that Sunset/La Cieniga area, we decided to move about 3 miles west to some of the other clubs. It was about 12:00 AM at this time, we were driving, saw the venue and FOUND ANOTHER PARKING SPOT almost right after I did the gratitude affirmation! Just wanted to say that. No pay parking. I was given two parking spots on Sunset Blvd on a Friday night on the same night. Wow.

I'm a believer. Seeing ISSSS believing.

Labels: , ,

Posted by BigSend at 11/02/2007 05:21:00 PM | | Comments

I’m Finding Myself More Assertive in Everyday Life

During BradP’s bootcamp, we learned some frame control exercises on how to talk over people in a smooth way, rather than just being loud and talking over them. Brad didn’t want me to go into too many details, but basically the plan is to acknowledge the person who interrupts, very quickly address what they say and just move on without skipping a beat.

For example, if a girl blurts out in the middle of my talk “You are weird” I would probably say without skipping a beat “… I am the weirdest guy you’ll ever meet…” The thing about this technique is it really threw me off at first. I would lose my train of thought and I would sense this emotion/social struggle go on. In field, when I do this right the girls would laugh and get more interested, it’s kind of freaky; but when I do it badly and lose my train of thought, the set kind of dies.

Well the idea is really to maintain your frame as the “Alpha Male King of My World” and when I am talking, unless there is an emergency or the vibe is very flow, no one interrupts. If you can keep that frame along with practice BradP’s method (email him to find out, he told me not to spell it out), then you will find every aspect of your conversational life will start to change.

I was hanging out with my old roommate and a female friend whom I haven’t seen all summer. [Note: I may have taken my oldest blog posts down, but these are the same roommates I lived with when I started this blog.] At that time, they were way more alpha and assertive than I. They would interrupt me all the time when I spoke—it wasn’t like everyone I knew interrupted me, I just happened to room up with guys who were rude like that. Well I didn’t stand much of a chance, they could speak better, flow easier, keep their train of thought, yell loud, and when I think about it, they interrupted each other all the time too. Very immature environment.

So I was hanging out with my old roommate and our female friend (whom is a girl friend of the other roommate). We were talking about Taxes* and I had a rather complex point to make, it would take over a minute to do it fully to make sure they understood as it was a complicated idea. About 10-20 seconds into my talk, before I even came close to making my point, I get interrupted very loudly but then IMMEDIATELY, just like I was in a set without skipping a beat, I say “Hold on, I am talking here let me finish my point” and totally shut them down, they were perplexed. They had never seen me be that blunt before. I could see it in everyone’s eyes. I was not the same dude they befriended 2+ years ago. I’m not even sure if they like me too much now haha.

Anyway after I said “…let me finish my point” I went right back on my thread and finished it up. Actually for like 10 seconds the guy joked “Haha we need a moderator here” but then I went on.

Basically I just kept on talking. The way I was interrupted felt like some crap girls do in a set to shit test me—this is probably why I had such an autopilot response to it. Only thing is, my old friends are so used to interrupting me that they in no way expected me to be so assertive. After I did this the vibe changed, I felt this tension in the air. But, I am a different guy now, the level of respect I used to get from them is not enough for me anymore.

In fact, I have slowly stopped hanging out with them over the course of the past year. I almost never talk to them now. Back then, instead of throwing a hissy-fit, demanding respect. I.e., telling them after the fact that I don’t like being interrupted, I just sort of moved on. Found much better friends who vibe with me on a deeper level: i.e., 456, Ulysses, etc etc.

On the way home, I was talking to my friend whom I interjected over and said “You know, the reason I haven’t showed my face much and you didn’t see me much this past year is really because I can’t even talk with you guys. I keep getting interrupted. It made me feel like shit” I was being totally honest. She agreed, and told me she hates it when she gets interrupted too. Only difference with me is I choose who I hang out with out of a deep bond, not out of loneliness. I sense she is partly with her boyfriend because she is afraid of being single again—she talks about how happy she is now that she is not on the single’s train. I don’t think that is a good reason to be in a relationship, but I didn’t say that.

The vibe definitely changed. I know their view of me is a push over guy. Well, not anymore haha. Though I rarely, rarely hang out with people like them. 99% of people I meet and hang with are respectful of when anyone speaks no matter how alpha or non-alpha the guy is.

Truth is, I really do hate having to apply BradP’s frame control tactics. It feels harsh but when it must be done, it must be done. I would never want a relationship, be it friend or lover, with a person who shit-tests me like that.

So I’m not too sure how much I’ll be with that crew. When I hang out with them 1-on-1 its actually quite fun and we have great rapport. When more than one of them are together, its very immature.

So I guess my lessons were 1) move away from people who don’t make you feel good 2) be assertive, don’t let people walk on you 3) be prepared. When you actively don’t let someone walk on you, keep the alpha frame. Don’t let it drop off. I mean of course if I have a boss or some authority figure, I can’t do this alpha male bull shit, that would be retarded…


*My taxes point was basically that I feel income taxes do nothing more but further separate the “rich” from the “poor.” In America the media hypes up the big class struggle where one political party, the Democrats, are big about taxing the “wealthiest” and giving back to the poor. But I do not think it works that way. The real wealthiest are the ones who make the laws through lobbying, being in congress, etc etc. They make the loopholes (and we all know there are a TON of loop holes in the legal system) so they can afford the lawyers who can use the loop holes. Perhaps they hide their money in S-Corps or over seas. I don’t know, I’m not one of those “rich.” However, if we decide to raise taxes, that does nothing more than hurt people who make money through working hard—i.e., it hurts the non-rich. The real rich are not hurt much, perhaps they lose more of their ability to hire employees or expand their business. In fact, when taxes are raised on business, it is NOT the business who loses money, it is consumers. Why? Because business will just raise the prices and say the tax went up. In California is 8.25%. Or if its federal tax, they will decrease supply and raise prices.

Also, if we do raise taxes now, say the people who earn over $100K get 40% taken away and the people above $50K get 30%. What will happen 4, 8, 12, 16 years from now? Will taxes stay the same.. or will they go up more.. or will they trickle down to the lower and lower income brackets? Taxes in socialist countries are HUGE. Every person is nearly the same wealth except the filthy rich—i.e., the ones who are not affected by taxes.

So the media is hyping the “class warfare” and I believe it is Democrats who want to raise taxes on the rich to alleviate that class difference, but it may have a very backwards effect—sure it sounds good on paper, but is that how economics REALLY works? Besides, do we really want the government to have more money? I mean defense is important, and construction, but look at how much the Government wastes, they suck at money. They have no incentive to handle money well, they don’t own stock. They have tenure, so they can’t lose their jobs in government. Look at the Katrina situation and how much money was lost there. Its all over the media and they still can’t take care of New Orleans. Do we really want the government to get more money through taxes? Is that really the answer to the “class warfare” media hype?

I could go on, but I really feel income taxes is anti-American. In fact, there was almost NO income taxes before the early 1900 was FDR I believe. Before that there were taxes only during war time. FDR put our country on a socialist track because he wanted to alleviate the great depression as fast as possible… great… our grand children thank you. Not only do we lose money to taxes, but also social security—something my generation will probably never see.

So now that the government gets loads of money, they have 100x more power than they used to. Wasn’t America supposed to be about the people having all the power and the government completely serving the people’s desires?

(See how long of a point that was, I can’t be interrupted in the middle and still be able to finish that shit off! Well this isn’t a political blog. I imagine lots of people will hatefully disagree but please, save it. I fucking hate taxes, you do too. So lets drop it. No political discussion on this blog.)

Labels: , , ,

Posted by BigSend at 10/02/2007 03:12:00 AM | | Comments

The Bootcamp with BradP and Gabriel

The cards were in play, the money was there, the timing was perfect and I just hung out with Brad as the 2007 PUA Summit and I knew training with this guy was on my path. First off, Brad’s style is not like the rest of the communities. I have been around the block for a while and most of the community is about getting any girl you want, any time; being able to approach any girl in any setting and seduce her. Mystery is the ultimate figure in this, with the 5-4-5 deal. If I recall, 545 is for every 5 girls you approach, you can convert all 5 of them into full on girl friends. That is fucking impressive and I am floored by Mystery! In fact, I wouldn't even be here, or even close to where I am without inspiration from Mystery.

For me, it obviously never worked like that. It was more like 100-4-1 haha. After talking and being with a bunch of girls, I learned I don’t like most girls after awhile, maybe due to their vibe, degree of sexuality, values in life, and overall energy you name it. So I took a break from indirect game (i.e., Mystery Method) and tried out Grungey’s direct game. I really liked direct, except for the fact it takes a lot of my own courage and energy to muster up per approach, like A LOT for me. With direct, you know right away if the girl is at least semi interested.

Ahh, direct is awesome, don’t get me wrong. But, my path doesn’t lie in direct, at least I don’t think so now. BradP is a totally new style. Brad joined the community after learning and become an expert on his own in like 2005. He had his own seminars in a pizza parlor in New York City and eventually his students turned out to also be members of ASF and, yada yada yada, BradP is now probably one of the “top 5” guys around, if you are into scales.

But here is the truth. Brad, along with his assistant coach Gabriel, were probably the best, most accurate, most perceptive, most caring, most concerned, most legit teachers I have ever had. I am so fucking impressed. Okay, let me describe from the beginning.

We start out Friday with HEAVY traffic on Sunset Blvd so I get in about 20 minutes late, along with M, a guy who flew from Australia to train with Brad. Also in the room was a 20 year old southerner from Tennessee along with two guys from Northern California. I come in with a bunch of clothes to get critiqued by Brad and with an open mind. I “emptied my cup” as Bruce Lee would put it.

Now I believe I have described Brad in previous blog posts, but again he is about 6’5” but his body language makes him look about 10’10”. He has amazing focus, when he is talking to you, he looks you deep in the eye and has a flexible smirk on his face that at any moment can turn into uproarious laughter and glee. But he also has a dominant vibe, talking over him feels a bit weird (though it could be the whole teacher-student frame we are in.) He has an overall fun loving vibe, extremely loose and sincere and dedicated as a teacher. He will demo a set or watch you or anything, you just ask him. Brad’s style is also very tight, when you see him he looks like a real rock star, or whatever costume he is wearing.

Gabriel is an interesting character, he honestly rubbed me as a long time friend, someone I can trust very easily and someone who is just cool to have around. In a sense, he comes under the radar because his game is fucking tight, yet he seems like a completely normal guy with great style. When a girl is around, he will run things step by step and do like improv. He also is a very insightful teacher and was able to help me out majorly in my game, one of the single biggest improvements I’ve ever had. His rapport skills are also very tight.

It started off with semi-casual intros, greetings and story swapping. We are still waiting on another person, so we just chill and I set up camp on one of the random chairs.

When everyone got in, we began by doing some exercises. You see, Brad is not about routines and memorizing too much—it’s mostly about vibe, being playful and flirty, being “socially free” and amazing body language. We only memorized 2 opening routines and learned a general concept for how to tell stories. The rest was almost like Improvisation practice, but these exercises were fucking amazing.

So we began by going over openers, I got to practice Horse Girl with Brad and get critiqued. Turns out, I was doing it all wrong! I was facing too straight on, I was too much in the girls face during it and pointing too my “YOU look just like her!” Even though I had a lot of fun making fun of new girls and flirting, I was a bit too much. Now it took me a whole other day to really soak in Brad’s teachings to really get it, along with observe him in field, however this was a start.

I then practiced on Gabriel. Now, most of the community probably hasn’t heard of him, but he is a fucking amazing coach. He has a different vibe than Brad, so you can’t quite compare them; separate styles but exact same principals. Now, if I recall we ran out of time in the seminar so I never got a chance to really get Gab’s opinion in there, so I made a point to really talk to him out side while we walked to the new venue. I don’t recall our exact conversation, but I believe he just said he would demo in field and watch me closely.

We go to our first venue. Brad hangs back since one of the students is under 21 and Brad plans out a way to get him in. I didn’t see it, but apparently Brad just captivated the door guy with his vibe and the student just slipped in. Haha. Well, we enter and Gabriel opens a huge set with Cotton Candy (“Hey do you know where I can get cotton candy at this time of night”) and just improvised from there. It was a huge set with all the girls paired up with guys, it would take like an hour to really get into the group, so with that Gabriel left and at this point Brad was in the venue. Time to see the guru in action :)

Brad walks around and gets a sprite for me and another student, and flirts with the bartender lady. He does some fun “Hey you are…. Ohhh I know you…” and waiting for her to fill in the blank. She doesn’t go for it and Brad is like “Ah well, just a warm up” Then Brad walks around and we stay close—during bootcamps, Brad tells us to watch him very closely, as all the sets are for us to see, unless he fucks a girl in the bathroom that is.

The next set Brad did was a rather long one. A 2 set, guy and girl sitting together at the bar. Brad opens with his ridiculous “Hello. I am from central and we were wondering if your stay here is above average, average, or crappier than average?” And he went with that. The girl seemed tentatively into him and Brad subtly kino’s her arm, but as Brad kept going, it became clear the guy was probably not her boy friend and he ended up talking to us! (It was me along with a few other students watching).

At first it felt like a TV Show watching Brad, but later on, watching Brad became an observation, a close study, and an inspirational event. Either case, Brad got the girls number through some weird way, like taking a picture of her and saying he’ll text message it to her. She gave him the number and that was that. Haha.

So now it was my turn to open and have Brad watch. I don’t think Gabriel was with me at that time. Now, as you may know, approach anxiety is kind of an annoying road block in a lot of my game, but honestly 90% of my approach anxiety disappeared when I told my mind “I want to get blown out, as long as Gabriel or Brad watches me, I’m cool.” With that, I open a girl sitting down with Horse Girl and though I do it all wrong, the girls laugh and I leave. Then Brad says it was good warm up and has me open another right after the blow out. This next girl was with her drunken friend hand in hand, and I open with horse girl again, perhaps a bit off. The girl seemed interested but she was a moron—I did the entire opener, she was laughing, “I am not the weird horse girl” and then her friend pulled her away. Later the drunken friend came up to me and started screaming “DID YOU CALL MY FRIEND A HORSE!?” holy shit, this girl was a drunken mess. This tiny girl is like staring me down, and I say “No, you miss heard me” and this girl has no negotiation ability, she is just full of rage and I just stare back at her. She is like “WHAT. HUH!” and I just stare back. Meanwhile, I notice Brad is still there, but he is actually talking to other people in the set, occupying time and I don’t think he noticed this drama at first. Anyway, I am in a fucking staring contest with this girl. I am looking at her and not looking away for like a full 2 minutes. That is a long time to stare someone in the eye, especially over a pick up line in a bar.

After the tension got super high, I realized something. I should be sending massive amounts of love through my eyes to this girl. As I realized this and I forced myself to feel massive amounts of love, I noticed her eyes began to dilate. It was very eerie and interesting. Soon the tension got humongous, so I broke the tension with “You know what, I really like you” and she just busted out laughing “Omg, what?? What the hell” She felt it and was so confused. She went from huge drunken rage to drunken love! It was crazy. I kept going “I wish I approached you first and not your friend, you stand up for your friends and I admire that. I like you”

That diffused it. She was perplexed and walked away. Brad then turned back to me and we talked about what happened. A few minutes later, I suppose the drunken love turned back to confusion and then resentment; a guy approached us asking “What was up with the horse thing, she’s not a horse” My god, it has been like 10 minutes and they are still hung up on it! So we tell him, “listen, I thought she looked like someone I knew from when I was a kid who liked horses, she just misheard me and now hates me. I meant no harm” The guy agreed and just joked around “haha okay okay, but just incase next time you want to call a girl a horse, at least buy her a drink!”

After the guy left, Brad was like “Haha, he is giving me dating advice” and we walk to the other side of the bar. That was that, I think the drunken rage girl followed me and was yelling “You startin’ drama huh?!” as we were all walking away. Crazy LA people haha.

So I continue opening through the night, more of the same sans the drunken angry chicks. One set I opened was another VH1 zombie: Her: “OMG VH1’s pick up artist is everywhere, please don’t talk to us” group. I got blown out before I could even say “hi” these girls were so fucking jaded, such a shame. I asked Brad to then open those girls, and even Brad could barely plow through, these girls had no vibe, they honestly dressed up, came to a bar in LA, and whenever guys would approach them, they were like “OMG Help! VH1! Help!” I don’t see why these girls come out to a bar on a hip Friday night in the first place.

We are now about half way through the night and the personal lessons start coming in. Gabriel is coaching me at this point in next venue and the first lesson is POSTURE. Man, I have worked and worked and worked on posture, but there is only so much a person can do with just a mirror. My friends like 4Five6 and Ulysses have pointed stuff out, but Gabriel is a fucking solid teacher. I was outside with Brad and Gabriel and Brad finally said, “Dude, we have to work on your body language. It FUCKING sucks!” Wow, ouch. That would have been an insult if instead they didn’t help me out right then, and help me out they surely did! Brad physically moved my back into shape, my shoulders and everything. Gabriel did the same thing too, they had no shame in shaping me. Hell if someone has good intentions and I trust them, it’s cool with me, especially if I pay them $1000 for it! I believe I told Brad early on to “Lay it on me. Tell me the like it is and correct the shit out of me”

Apparently my posture idea has been all wrong. I was always trying to straighten by back by sucking in my gut, pushing my lower back outwards, but the result was it seemed like I was learning forward. Through all the work, I ended up leaning way backwards! Like way, way back. The thing is, to an outside observer, it seems like I am straight up and down, normal. But to myself, it felt like I was leaning 10 degrees backward.

That was amazing lesson #1. That night ended with all of us having dinner and just chit chatting with Brad and Gabriel. Apparently the Australian guy got into a long set and made out with the girl! Nice! But, even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t. I came to Brad’s bootcamp for deep, fundamental changes. I already got lesson #1, keeping a straight up and down posture, something no one really was able to point out and actually help me correct.

The second day started out with more clothing advice. I let Brad and Gabriel know to lay down the advice real horror show. I.e., ignore my feelings, tell me like it is. With that said, Brad told me NEVER to wear my short-sleeved shirts again! Just burn them! I have shirts with funny catch phrases on them; they are semi tight on me, along with band names. Brad instead told me “just go for the sophisticated/mafia look.” So I went out with a black, button down shirt and a white blazer. It looked fucking cool, but so-long my tee shirts, I’ll miss you! Basically, Brad’s theory is style is all about looking like a person your girl would like to fuck—for example, looking like a band member from AFI. Girls want to fuck AFI members. However in my case, what famous archetype just wears jeans and a tee shirt that says “Led Zeppelin” on it and that is it. The rocker look needs more accessories, better jeans, boots, etc. My shirts are like half-assed. And I admit, they kind of are.

So my look is Mafia/Sophisticated and well dressed. This means nice slacks, a nice button downed shirt and a sport jacked or something, along with nice shoes. Perhaps 1 ring too and a hat—not a sports hat, but like a cow-boyish, hat (I forget the name, like a quarter sized top-hat).

With that said, Brad offered me his new fashion book for free (albeit, paying for his bootcamp is about 50x more than the ebook, I still very much appreciate it).

So I suppose that is like great mini-lesson #1b. Its not part of the super big 3 I got, first of which was a huge posture re-doing. Lesson #1b, how to dress!

The next thing we work on is this: Brad is very blatant when he says this “BigSend, you have a lethargic vibe” Whoa… that struck a chord in me—lethargic. That is the adjective. See if you know me, you’d notice that I am not super expressive with my face and body. For example, I’ll say something like “Get out of here” and my face will be fairly straight, not too intense. Perhaps I’ll yell if needed or get red, but my face doesn’t say, “Get out of here!” I asked Brad “Listen, if you can figure out a way to fix my lethargic vibe.. man that would fucking amazing” He mentioned this at the end of the first day.

Apparently Brad slept on it. Him and Gabriel may have discussed stuff, I am not sure. Either way, the second day we did some day game in The Grove and Brad had me work on my walk (while everyone else did something different). He knit-picked me, had me do a bunch of walks till we found the exact one needed. He made me swagger, bounce, move tight, move loose and we finally found the walk. It is hard to describe here, but basically it is leaning way back, swinging from side to side, using lots of forward momentum—almost aggressive—and just being dominant.

And, ding ding, this was amazing lesson #2. Brad put a good amount of work into this and got it, a dominant walk and stride. It feels so new to walk now, although it does go hand in hand with #1, this is lesson #2.

Along with this, I got to observe more sets by Brad and get more advice from Gabriel. Since I am so tall, I should lean in from the side or bend my knee(s) to lean in, or hang my neck down, but not face her straight on and bend downward.


Well that night, we went out to the same bars, but this time we did street approaches first. I was with Gabriel at this time and he got to watch me very closely as I opened street sets. One set was super bad, I opened the girls when they were like 3 feet from me and walking fast, they seemed scared and walked off. At that moment or so, Gabriel was like “Dude! You need to move your face more when you speak!” I was a bit dumbstruck… my God I think he’s right! Deep down, I know there is a part of me that wants to break free and I have suppressed it through the years, thinking back it could be getting made fun of and told “Be cool dude, be cool” I am pretty sensitive and feel like I have hidden this side of me.

After this, that part of me CAME BACK TO LIFE. I shit you not, email Brad and ask if you don’t believe me. I started moving my face like crazy, furrowing my brow, moving my cheeks, squinting one or both eyes, curling my lips, moving my nose, you name it. All the guys there in the bootcamp were watching and cracking up. I recall moments like these in High School when I’d be expressive and everyone would laugh and have a great time, but those rarely came out. Now, I feel I got it back!

We went back into the bar soon enough and my God, sets were going amazing. Lesson #3, MOVE YOUR FACE! Express yourself! Talk with your body, face and then mouth! I was opening with Horse Girl by looking at the girl with a cock-eyed look and furrowing my brow and the girls were like “Omg, haha!” One girl I opened was previously opened by Horse Girl.

Me: “Hey… do you like horses” [I was being very expressive]
Her: “OMG I already got asked this”
Me: “You always get asked this!” [Facial expressions by me. Maintaining frame]
Her: “You know what I said to the last guy who said this to me” [bye-bye motion]
Me: “You always go bye-bye to guys”
And she was laughing! My expressiveness, personality everything was coming out, it was GREAT!!
Her: “Haha, but I haven’t said bye-bye to you yet, so nice!”

But I eventually lost her, the shit-tests were getting pretty severe and she sort of drifted off.

I eventually run into Brad and I start talking to him with my expressive face. He lights up and is like “OMG!! THAT IS IT!!! YOU’RE CURED!!” So Gabriel fixed this, Brad has good, solid coaches!

The rest of the night I was opening, but honestly, I got my shit. I got what I needed. Those 3 lessons were the $1000.

The lessons in order:
1. Lean back! All the time
1b. Dress advice (I added this later, I like top 3)
2. Walk dominantly, don’t seem submissive ever.
3. Move my face and be expressive!

Along with this is Brad’s amazing story telling ability. It is crazy, but Brad can take any shitty, weird story and turn it into the most exciting attractive piece you have ever heard. I mean this shit blows half the routines in the community out of the water. I can’t really explain what he does, I asked him. He hears a boring story, takes out every exciting point and links them together in a way that is quick, to the point, and has a huge climax.

The third day I had to leave early. It was the optional day, so I will write more about it later. The day was more about self-help, setting goals, and getting a deeper evaluation. I had to leave early to make it to a Hamsa Yoga meditation, as this will be the last mediation Guru is giving in my area for a long time and I felt the need to go there. The truth is, I was so mentally and physically worn out from the BradP bootcamp, it hurt my legs like crazy to sit cross-legged, and I couldn’t really mediate. My mind was too out of whack. My soreness was a bit too much and fuck, I really didn’t get anything out of the mediation. Well, that isn’t quite true, it was a great meeting but about half was through my legs just started to ache real bad.

Brad agreed to give me a free phone consultation to make up for the early leaving.

All in all, I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend this bootcamp!! Christ all mighty. But first, understand that I have been in the community for awhile, I fixed A LOT of my game before this boot camp, I fixed a lot of my approach anxiety (even though I still have a lot of it, I opened dozens of solid sets), some students in the camp seemed to barely open many sets. Others came just to help relieve approach anxiety. That is cool. From what I seen, you can be at almost any level and get a lot out of the bootcamp, on the second day Brad tailors lessons for each student individually and mentors you through them personally. So a beginner would do basic stuff and get fundamental fixes, advanced guys would get advanced stuff and also be mentored.

BradP along with Gabriel are EXTREMELY perceptive. They seem to know exactly when to teach you stuff and when to wait. They can be harsh, like Brad telling me my posture “fucking” sucked. But he also helped me out big time, personally moving me into place. Gabriel was working hard on me too, he wasn’t just sitting there saying “Just be cool dude” he was thinking hard, trying new stuff all the time and finally figured out what was wrong!

If you decide to take these boot camps, try to polish off your game, smooth out rough edges if possible (if not its okay) and when you take it ASK everything YOU CAN! I mean it, tell Brad exactly what you want to fix, ask him for all kinds of advice. It is really awesome, he is like your personal guru for 2 days, ask him anything. Take advantage of this fully! Do not be the quiet student waiting. So figure out where you game is now and then take the bootcamp and you will have MAJOR breakthroughs!

These guys are legit. They are amazing in set, but again you won’t see them hook every girl, in fact I didn’t really go into their successful sets too much, you can read Brad’s 50 Lay Reports floating around the net for that. Instead their style is “Blow me, or Blow-me-out!” That is, they are either IN or they are OUT. No wasting time, though they will plow through hard sets and keep trying, but a girl who has no vibe will be elemi-dated.

Man I have to tell you more, one set I opened by looking at every girl there very cock-eyed, I ran horse girl on one of them, but another girl came up and was like “OMG Who Do you think you are HUH!?” And I just looked at her cock eyed, furrowed my brow, smiled, squinted my eyes and then she ASKED ME TO SPANK HER!! Wtf!! She was like “SPANK ME BIG BOY!” Man, I turned that blowout into a spanking session. I spanked her HARD! Ooo, I felt the sexual vibe increase a lot! Fuck it though, I didn’t know what to say next and all the girls in the group were just staring are at me like I had 9 dicks growing out of my face. I got to get comfortable with crazy success and keep going with it, that was NUTS!!

There were more crazy sets, including ones where Brad personally winged me and ran interference for me (i.e., diffused cock blocks). Also, Brad demonstrated a few more sets, one in which he almost got the girls in the alleyway to fuck him, but not quite and he even took his shirt off in the middle of the street and every girl was like “I LOVE YOU!”

This is probably one of the most life changing experiences I’ve ever had, and I didn’t even finish Day 3 (will get on the phone with Brad on Tuesday probably). I got some harsh, though very wise criticism on my dress, posture, expressiveness, and my walk/dominance. That covers A LOT. And plus, this is stuff that comes into play in all walks of life. Being more expressive in my face will be there in every social interaction. Same with my style and walk.

Okay, it’s now Tuesday and I just got off the phone with Brad to finish the 3rd day. He guided me through an identification building exercise and details on how I can utilize resources around me, including emailing him if I have questions. Then we got into the in-depth analysis. Honestly, it felt like a really accurate cold read, it was extremely useful information nonetheless. He got a taste of me for 3 days and how my personality is really like and gave me some pretty big pointers. One thing I need to do eventually is get out of the suburban bubble and back pack through Europe and be exposed to more of the world. Brad along with Stephane and others do notice that I don’t seem to have a lot of life experience, though I am 21. Brad figured out pretty quickly that I did grow up fairly sheltered and not deal with truly harsh environments.

Brad was telling me a bit about his life and we seemed to have gone through fairly similar situations. We were both very tall, got picked on, played basketball and dealt with the whole basketball drama environment. Of course he told me how he eventually gotten over it all and now rarely deals with that shit. One of the reasons I chose Brad is because I felt his vibe and style is similar to mine, but his is of course much more developed.

Well I got like 15 pages of notes to sort through and things to absorb. I’m gonna get the fuck out there and meet some people now!

To sum up BradP’s camp in 2 words: Life Changing.

BradP's Dating System: http://simurl.com/bradp_uds
Brad's email (he responds to them personally) datinggurubrad (at) yahoo.com

Labels: , ,

Posted by BigSend at 9/17/2007 02:53:00 PM | | Comments

My Experiences Meditating with an Indian Guru.

Life has an interesting path for me, that is for sure. To trace my journey very briefly, I was introduced into the dating advice community, weaseled around hit many bumps, found my spot and good friends, then somehow cross paths with Stephane from Ideagasms. Actually, I recall sending him an email a while ago asking for advice and he responded quite promptly. Me: "Where do I find well balanced girls" He relied "If you actually go out, perhaps you'll meet them" DUH, he knew me from that one sentence haha.

Well after spending a week with Steph and his friends they recommended me a book "Autobiography of a Yogi" along with "Conversations with God." Unlike most times, when I get a book recommendation I usually put it on a long to do list. Well, somehow I just read it that week. (Actually I got the audio book hehe, but I chose those over like a billion others I planned to hear!). "Yogi" is a book about an Indian Guru's life named Yogananda and his journey. He describes meeting and learning from saint like Gurus who mediate for hours and achieve sublime states of mind, even levitate physically and predict future outcomes and seer events. Sounds like magic right?

Well after getting through this book, I met up with my new friend B (keeping his name anonymous) who lives in my area and we talked about mediation, what it really is. Talked about ego, energy. Very enlightening conversation, I felt like such a rookie to life all of a sudden. I have felt energy before, I learned how to play with it and move it through my body. I'm sure you could do it too, just whoosh your hands up to the top of your head, if you do it right you'll get this head rush feeling. That is about the extend I knew about energy. Well, I also learned how to bring the energy downward by guiding it when my hands. I know this sounds hockey, but I definitely do feel something and it is very mysterious to me. I know its more than a blood rush because I can guide that energy feeling all through me.

Anyway, that is just a taste. B told me a great Indian Guru comes to America once a year for about a month to guide Americans into the Kriya Yoga Mediation practice. I knew I would go, I couldn't miss this. A little back ground, his name is Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath and he has been into mediation since the age of 3. Later in life he would mediate in the Himalayas and one day he had a vision meeting a great master Babaji. Babaji is like humanities' guide, its super hard to explain who he is, but suffice to say he is like the Jesus or Buddha. Seeing is believing, and of course I did not see any of this take place, however I did meet Guru. It was probably the most profound experience in my life, my God has this journey taken me far.

Guru hosts a free event called a Satsang. Guru believes seeing is believing and therefore he offers seekers a chance to meditate in front of him for about 3 hours and feel his presence. The first Satsang was held in a church after hours (7 pm) and I got there a bit early. The vibe was very calm, but I could feel a restlessness in the air. It seemed a bit weird. People there did not seem like those you'd meet off the street. They were dressed normal but they had a seeking look in their eye. Others, however, seemed deeply saddened and are seeking happiness. Others seemed like doubting thomases, though they were very curious. Curiosity ran through the air. At around 7:10 a disciple of Guru named Dan (hes on the web page) came and made an announcement, letting us know of what will be happening. Dan, along with all of guru's disciples were very calm people, and though they didn't have a profound aura they seemed very peaceful, friendly, helpful, and loving. Perhaps they will be Guru's one day if that is on their path, they certainly could be.

A few minutes later, as we were all sitting in silence, our hands in the Namaste position the church floor began to creek. And creek. And creek, till through the back of the church came Guru. I knew it was Guru right away as I had already seen his youtube videos, but when I saw him and felt his presence in real life, I couldn't move. It was like sleep paralysis came over me. I would dumb founded, he had an aura of sooo much peace, love, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, truth and add all positive adjectives. It was not just a powerful look in his eye. It was in his facial expression, the way he talked, the way he looked at every single audience member with such love. He had NO trace of fear, anxiety, or anything negative in any way. None. Even when someone asked him a shotty question or what-not, pure love came out of him.

He talked for nearly all the 3 hours. My first night I noticed that even as he talked, people were in deep mediation. I didn't know this at the time, but a true master's mear presence, the aura of love and compassion sends sensitive seekers into a trance.

I'm telling you, this was not like seeing Micheal Jordan, Bill Clinton, Jerry Seinfeld or ________ celebrity. This was like seeing pure love. I know it seems almost like I am hero worshiping. I am honestly telling you what I observed. Is Guru a fake? Is he just an amazing actor? My answer: what the fuck does it matter. Satsang is free! The stuff he does charge for is dirt cheep (a couple books and videos) and he only sells it to very few people who meet him. I felt so much honesty and love and honor from him and his disciples that if this were all a big hoax... they are fuckinnnn gooood! haha. Okay, no more pacing your reality. This is my journal anyway I plan to show my kids some day, so I wouldn't lie to them. On with the story!

The first night, I came in slightly doubting, but very curious. As said, when he came inside, I felt a feeling of sleep paralysis where I couldn't really move. He began very eloquently talking---man could he talk well, however I was in a bind, I couldn't really listen. In fact, I wasn't thinking the same. My thought mind was not in mode, my heart-feeling was opening up very much. I began to notice myself getting high, almost like smoking weed. It was not sustained now super high, but it was like being high real quick. That was when I realized "Oh shit! This is mediation"

I recall trying to mediate off and on through the years, just sitting down, not thinking, just being in the moment. I noticed I couldn't do it too well. My brain would always butt in or I'd get bored. However, with Guru I mediated probably for the first time and definitely the deepest I ever gone. In fact, the last time I felt such a deep meditation was hanging out with Stephane and Ideagasms. Stephane is a great guy, about 30 years ago and seriously mastered relationships. That I can recall, he was about the most enlightened man I met before Guru, so I feel like meeting Stephane was like a taste of what a master is like. In fact, I can see Stephane becoming a Guru Master.

Near the end of the Satsang, Guru mentioned something rather peculiar to us. He said he was going to give us a taste of his soul, allow us to fully merge with him and see his light. Wtf? Yeah I know, what? Well, I went with the flow. He asked everyone to gather so they were all straight in front of him, not to the side. After some words of instructions he began.... [This is hard to write out, I thought it would be easier, but this is hard to write out.] I saw Guru begin to glow white... and light was shining out of him. First I thought it was eye strain, as he asked us to not blink. In the middle of the meditation, he told us he would sooth our eyes by waving his hands in front of him. It worked, got me to refocus. But he began to melt once again. His face seemed ghost like and covered in a veil like an Arabian. Every few seconds my eyes would twitch and he'd refresh then it would go right back. My god... What was happening... But the craziest part was, there was pulsing wave of energy coming out of him. It was like a pebble hitting water and waves forming around that pebble, except here the center was Master and the waves were all space around him. I was 99% sure it was eye strain, BUT I could not repeat this pulsing at all at a later time. Perhaps it was literal energy waves were coming out of him, like a heart beat. My mind went completely blank, my jaw dropped, I couldn't think, I could only observe. I was perplexed.

Then it was over. I still could not believe it. In fact, I still am not 100% sure. Either way, afterwards I tried to emulate the vision by staring at him again. Without blinking I stared at him and I saw nothing. Was this placebo, hypnosis?? What was this? Guru then asked everyone if they saw him change form, and everyone rose their hands.

What. The. Fuck.

What was that!??!?!??!??!

I was scared. Hell even B would confirm that, I could barely speak afterwards. B is already heavily into this and he saw a great image.

Second day:
I went the next day, as I only planned to attend that first Friday. I sacrificed really going out and sarging in preparation for BradP. Well I hit up bars afterward but that is another story. I came this time to see that shit again. I wanted to see him melt once more along with those weird pulses. I came, sat down closer to him and meditated. My brain was much more active and when it came time for the final seeing of his soul, the back of my mind was waiting like it was for a movie or something. I knew this was wrong. Needless to say, during his final seeing, I didn't see anything. I only felt immense pools of love going through me, but my ego mind was in my way. It is impossible to meditate while being distracted by inner dialog, which I couldn't quite turn off.

Either way, after the second day, I finally mustered the courage to introduce myself to him. Fuck, it felt like I was approaching some untouchable HB10 haha. But I forced myself to introduce myself, tell him my name, and that was it. Deep down, I think it was my ego which wanted the attention. Either way I am so glad I did, because seeing him close up, gaining his attention and seeing his forgiving, loving, yet super powerful face was so uplifting. I could not think a negative thought around him. How foolish I was to be reluctant to talk to him.

Later I told him about my path, how I stumbled across everything and read "Yogi" and then found Hamsa Yoga. He seemed delighted but didn't care too much either. He seemed to have like no ego, he loved I was there, he enjoyed everyone's company, but it was all just an experience for him. He was giving us an experience and we were giving him one. When he was paying attention to me, I was his sole attention for that moment, but when he wasn't paying attention to me, it felt like I was out of his mind completely. Now, Guru is a human being, he has a brain. I know he remembers me because he recognized me on the third day. But he had no attachment.

hmm...

The Third Day:

Now I definitely did not plan to attend all 3 days, but as life works out, it was meant to be. This next meeting was 40 miles away, but that didn't stop me. This time, I calmed my mind, my inner dialog and I committed myself to 1) not asking any questions or making statements. 2) Just observe. Just be in the moment. No judging, no thinking, no ideas. Just observe.

Now Guru does more meditations than the "seeing" one I described earlier. Another one was a Chakra like mediation. Before this, all I really knew of was Stephanes Chakra meditation (linked above) which are excellent! However, this one was different. Guru talked about energy running up and down the spine. He lead us through a meditation and I allowed myself to be taken by his words and guidance. I put full faith in him for 3 hours, for better or worse and the result was breath taking.

The energy centers of the body are located in the spine and brain (as most physiologists would agree) and the idea of this meditation was to feel the energy flow up and down the spine freely. On day 2, I talked to a guy who mentioned feeling energy going up and down his spine but feeling blockages. Now on the 3rd day, I felt the energy too, but I also felt blockages. I was like "crap!", the feeling of energy flow is stopping near my mid spine (solar plexus area) which is actually where I feel most anxiety. At that moment I recalled in "Auto Bio of a Yogi" Yogananda would actively ask his master "Please, Help me through this" and this inspired me in this moment. In my head I asked "Master, please help me move this energy. I put my faith in you, please help me" and wow. It was like a huge gush of water going through a small valve... but the energy go so intense it broke the valve and moved its way up, breaking through more and more blockages. I felt a HUGE rush! It was like the first time I got high when my head hit the ceiling. In fact it was crazier, it felt like if I could go higher, I would levitate. I felt very little weight. I was high and felt amazing amounts of love in my chest. My chest was growing. My God, how amazing this was.

Then came the "seeing" time. This time, I did not see him glow. I did see minor pulses, but instead I noticed his eyes were shining. His eyes were getting brighter I noticed. I also noticed my mind was extremely still, I was not only not thinking, but I also felt like time was standing still. There were thought pebbles going through me and again I asked guru to "Help me through this" Soon after he stopped the meditation. Asked everyone if they felt those thought pebbles. I raised my hand along with a few others. He then lead us through this meditation again, this time my mind was completely vacant. But, I knew I was seeing something, his eyes were glowing. His face seemed to change, but I couldn't recognize it. Some said he had a Moses look (but he looks a bit like Moses and Jesus anyway). Actually, he began looking a little bit like another Guru whose picture is in Autobiography of a Yogi.


After the mediation, I hung out with Master and other disciples in the back room and apparently people offer him food and deserts and gifts. He shared all this with us and had very little himself. I then told him how I'd ask him in my mind to help me through this and he gave a hearty laugh! Haha, he seemed delighted it helped me, then made a joke about how his disciples from awhile ago did the same thing, only from afar and got freaked out because it worked.

Who knows how it worked, perhaps it is the same concept as people saying "God, please help me" when something bad is happening, only this time, I really felt amazing rush of energy when I asked Guru for help.

Links to Hamsa Yoga stuff:
http://simurl.com/hamsa
http://simurl.com/hamsa_youtube


I plan to attend his final mediation in my area this coming Sunday. It will be right after BradP's workshop, in fact I'll have to leave early. Brad is a fucking cool guy, he agreed that it was okay and he'd give me a free phone consultation to finish off the workshop. Thanks man


To end this, true this was like a religious event, spending a few hours with your religious leader. But instead of it being fucking boring, droning, and repeating mantras over and over, it was spectacular and we felt the emotions first hand. Man does this beat temple haha!

Labels: ,

Posted by BigSend at 9/11/2007 02:08:00 AM | | Comments

A week with Mr. & Mrs. Ideagasms, Sir Psycho Stephane & Ghita

UPDATE: BGTP is released! Click here

NOTE: This post is written over a week period, so things will change in this essay. How it starts is not how it ends.

Man, what an amazing week (and its not even over!) I have honestly never felt so close to a bunch of people before, so much love and respect.

Okay okay, a little background on Ideagasms and Stephane. In the A.S.F dating community many guys emerged in the beginning, including Mystery, Ross, DeAngelo, etc. Most of the gurus started off in the techniques side of things. Well, in the more spiritual side of the community emerged Stephane. Pick up from the heart, not mind. Relationships based on love, compassion, and balance without turning yourself into a pussy (literally). Stephane has programs like "Chakra Meditation", "The Girlfriend Training Program (GTP)" "Squirt DVDs" and next is "Bisexual Girlfriend Training Program (BGTP)" all of which base their ideas on meditation and spirituality.

I had the amazing opportunity to join Steph and the rest of the guys in their L.A. recording sessions of BGTP. Oh man, where do I even begin? I actually wrote this whole thing out once and had to scrap it because honing the essence of this into written words is presently beyond my writing ability. BEAR with me guys, there is an amazing revolution going on and I didn't fully realize it till I Met Mr & Mrs Ideagasms along with the rest of the crew.

I'll start with the chronology: First night started out at Dented's place, about 20 miles south of Los Angeles. He put his house up since his parents were gone for the day and we all chilled on a few beers and small talked each other. Steph, along with a bunch of others all came in around 11pm from their flight and were exhausted. When Steph walked past me, I got up and shook his hand, it was a great to finally meet my relationship teacher.

As mentioned, Steph comes from a very spiritual place in this world. So based off his material, my first impression of him was like some guru in the sky who says weird things like "There are clockwise spinning vortex's coming out of your butt" I used to filter out and pay attention to his more mind-oriented advice, like how to deal with women in certain situations, etc. However, my ENTIRE idea of spirituality and the ideagasms philosophy shifted after meeting and being exposed to these guys and I want to convey the power of this shift now. Some of that shift had to do with Steph personally explaining what "Chakras" are and what it means to meditate on them, others had to do with book recommendations, but most of all the vibe really taught me something.

So the first night was cool, just drank some beers, talked about random shit and did some religion bashing. I felt a great vibe, same vibe as going to a really cool party where it isn't too rowdy, but it isn't boring either. Everyone likes each other and gets along. That is exactly how I've been feeling every day after hanging out with this gang.

The rest of the nights, so far, have been at Brandon's place. The idea of BGTP is to interview a circle couple (the owners of yintegrity.com) and to train them on tape. So, Steph and Ghita set up in Brandon's living room and set the couches and chairs so we were all in a circle while the people being interviewed, along with Steph, were in the middle. Also Ghita was working the sound equipment, so she was off to the side, but man, there were like energy wires between her and Steph. Steph would be talking about how much he loves Ghita and how great their relationship is, and she had this amazing smile which cut right into the circle. It really opened my eyes and inspired me. In fact, if I could sum this whole thing up in one statement, seeing the love pouring through Ghita (along with AmyJo) towards their man was revelating.

So this was the environment of the recording, however after the recording started the real shit hit me. Steph would sit, giving his advice, answering our questions and being the teacher; afterwards this pounded beers and wine and turned into a drunken mofo! He is fucking NUTS! He is like the crazy cool guy you meet at a party who makes fun of people, gets made fun of and just cracks up half the time. At the same time though, he does have his meditative, quiet and in the moment side.

Well before I go into that, Steph is a "In the moment" dude. He does shit on first impulse. Though he claims he has self doubt, but relative to most community people, I doubt it is much. This guy has a shit load of social freedom, just like me when I was 10 or 11 years old. The only problem with me is when I was a kid, I was told to "shut up" or "be cool dude" so that part of me got repressed. However we all went to eat at Arnie Morton's Steakhouse in Los Angeles and Steph would just talk to the waiter and blurt random shit out like "WHERE IS THE COCAINE!! --rich people haha--" and, well, he also did some other questionable, in the moment type things to the Steakhouse but what happens in IG stays in IG :)

During Steph's drunkenness he said to me (and maybe others too, but I felt it was directed to me) that "I am not the master, that you (or we, the group) are really beyond me and will surpass me". It is a great teacher's goal for his students to surpass the teacher, so I believe Steph meant this for everyone. Moreover, in the right context, around those you love, alcohol can serve as a truth serum. Steph mentioned it again in the night. The thing is, I keep getting this from many people whom I meet for a short while or for a long time. I am not sure what it is, but the following brings a light to it: Steph assessed what he thought of everyone. Well, since we were all a bit tipsy and Steph was drunk, he openly said what he thought of people. To Brandon, he said "You were like me in High School, got laid a lot" to HoboJack, he said "We are both wild" but to me he said "You have this innocence to you, the way your eyes get big" He also mentioned its like a charm later on. From looking at my baby pictures I have always had a wondrous look in my eyes, its just part of my personality---I believe it is a great thing, but not very masculine, so its not helping me get laid exactly!

But.. innocence..? What does that mean? What I realized is this: during my life, especially in grade school I have been a bit of an easy target for ridicule and teasing. I've dealt with it, but never knew why. I honestly had no clue... But this all makes sense. Immediately my ego felt a bit pushed. The rest of this week will not be the same, as Steph told his truth and now my vibe turned from "wow these guys are like my new family" to "shit... I need to keep my ego in check."

The great thing about this meet is although everyone interacts like a new group of close friends, every night Steph records for a few hours pummeling into us his brilliant advice about inner game, relationships, and meditations. He mentioned numerous times that the ego feels hurt when an aspect of itself is exposed. Well during my turn to ask Steph questions, the first thing he does is say something to the effect of "Here are some newbie questions from Bigsend. First, have you ever been with a bisexual girl?" My ego got hit, is it because I still look at myself as a "newb" even though I have been with girls before? I play along with it and just have fun, sort of in the moment... but something was off. If you guys buy the BGTP you'll probably hear me get clowned in it. And based on the fact that everyone in the room was cracking up like crazy, I'm sure it was funny as hell. I did feel love in the room, people were laughing at me, but also with me. But later my ego definitely began to stir once again.

The truth is, I am cloaked by the veil of anonymity. BigSend is not my real name so there should be no reason why I should care. But this really pointed out something I have not figured out since grade school. Why am I an easy target? I thank Steph for pointing it out and exploiting it a bit. By him exploiting it, it reminded me that I really do have a big ego and things like getting good grades, approaching sets in front of friends, being the first chosen for something all partly fuel my ego and nothing else. That is, doing well in school is important for success in life, but part of my motivation is to do better than my peers. My school only encourages it more because everything is graded on a curve. Most people would say "you got disrespected dude!" But the way he was teasing me was more like how my big brother would tease me. It wasn't like he said "We have questions for an loser. Lets just get through with it. Okay lets go" In fact, during the last session, Steph kicked a guy out for interrupting him during the recording. I realized that Steph wouldn't do that to me unless he really didn't like me.

Well after my question session with Steph, getting a bit tooled and having my ego tossed, my vibe changed. I smoked some weed that night and suddenly my old brain kicked in, the analytical side which I had put on hold to open up my eyes. I started looking at everyone around me and assessing them. Even Ariel, the guy I admired for his ideas on money I interrogated a bit, which I do regret as he is a very good guy. But, weed does that to me. But I think it was a good thing I happened to randomly smoke weed (it has been like 2+ months). I began to analyze myself and realized how much my ego was defining my path in life. That is, I realized I am defined by my fears, not my love. This needs to change. The love I felt with this IG crew turned to confusion, but then back again to love. I reminded myself how lucky I am to be sitting in on this event and so fucking what if my ego isn't happy. I am getting awesome value and I don't have anything to prove.

After that day I took a couple days off of the IG crew. For one thing, I needed to catch up on school work, another I wanted to see my new nephew of 6 months. While playing with my nephew and seeing how cute he is, cuddly, smiling and fun my heart completely opened up. I felt amazing love for this kid. Soon after I recall what Steph said about chakras that it is not just about meditation, it is about merging with things of nature. I didn't realize this. So I mentally redid the Red-chakra meditation by merging my consciousness with a tree. That is, I simply imagined what it would be like to be a tree, firmly rooted in the ground, sucking up energy from deep within the earth and letting it come out of me in the form of leaves and fruits while being securely planted in the ground. I did similar things with the other chakras till the Heart Chakra. This I listened to Steph's Green (Heart) meditation. At first it was weird hearing this guys voice both in real life and in the meditation tapes, but it was cool.

I felt so elated and high when doing the green mediation. It reminded me that even when people tease me I really notice they do it because they like me, I am truly loved. I notice that when I tease people too, I do it because I like them and seeking rapport. I am kind of an easy target, but so what? I just need to remember that its okay, I have nothing to prove and its only my ego that is hurt---my heart feels more loved. Thanks for twisting my nipple Steph, you filthy bastard! I am an easy target to make good, well rounded friends. I am a bad target for truly evil people. I notice this all the time in real life but didn't yet make that connection.

So a couple days pass and I go back to Steph for the next recording session. This session like 30+ people showed up and I didn't get a chance to really talk to Steph. We exchanged a few words but I mostly schmoozed with other people. Also their recording equipment was fucking up so I lent Ghita a hand in the computer issues. I got to really talk to her for this first time and she is a very charming girl and shit, she is my age! 21! Steph is like 31. Ghita looks about 18 (in a good way) but acts like a 27 year old in maturity. She has this girly frontal attitude, sort of a blowing in the wind, in the moment however when you ask her to do something important, she does it with confidence, thus I notice she has a very good balance of femininity along with masculinity. Anyway, me and RRandal (forum name) fix the recording shit and then we are off. Steph does a talk about the "Relationship Matrix" which I believe is a sister to the "Social Matrix" the dating community talks about.

The basic idea of the relationship matrix is that in modern days, the man is not hunting and fighting daily, he is driving an SUV and paying $5 for a Happy Meal. At the same time, women are not solely dependent on men for survival of themselves and the babies, women in today's world have many choices. In fact, the only reason there are relationships is because of a biological drive to connect and reproduce, there is no more survival reason. So in a sense we have evolved over 100,000s of years and only in the last few dozen generations has there been this sudden change. The divorce rate now is like 50% and probably the only reason there wasn't a high rate 50 years ago was because divorces were taboo. The solution to this issue in Steph's eyes is interdependent circles, where it is one man and two+ females in which the females are all loving each other and the man is the masculine center. Although the man isn't hunting and being a warrior, being able to handle the two women requires a lot of masculine energy. At the same time, the rapport women have with each other is something a man can never truly emulate, and a one man, one woman relationship lack that level of rapport. However like in early-man days of polygamy, the rapport women share is back in circles and the energies balance. With this, the man can still drive his SUV to the market and pick up some steak and the woman can energize each other.

Now at first this sounds like some ideal, wonderland thing, but this is not true. The man must be very masculine as there will be LOTS of issues coming to the surface, and all these issues must be dealt with right away to keep the relationship alive. Also, by dealing with these issues it serves as an amazing way to do self-help on yourself. Among the things that come up are jealousy, insecurities, self-doubt, girls feeling secondary, keeping the relationship balanced, etc etc. Honestly I can't go into that here, I don't even know where to being, I may have to listen to the BGTP like 10 times along with get me one of those bi-sexual girls.

This past week was not a simple walk in the park for me. (Though it was for most of the people there). I met some amazing group of people but I also had to deal with my ego issues. Steph and I were messing with each other like how I'd mess with my big brother and how he'd mess with me, however even when my big bro would mess with me years ago, I did feel ego stings. Its all related and I thank Steph for bringing this to the table (even though he probably didn't intend it). The last meeting we were all outside and did a final Q&A. I realized at that moment that Ideagasms is a special group, a group of true givers and people who love openly. A group of seekers who strive to love better and better and let their pride and ego subside. This is an amazing group of people. I also realized that there is a lifetime worth of information in handling circles. BGTP is going to be an in depth introduction with lots of examples, stories, questions but after seeing Steph and Brandon and HomoJack, I realized I need to be in the pudding to taste it.

Steph's Girlfriend Training Program link. I HIGHLY recommend this program even if you have never been in a relationship. In fact, I listened to this before my first relationship and it gave me a solid understanding of what goes on and at the same time you get to hear LOTS of people's mistakes and how to overcome those mistakes. This program is like a long Q&A session where each question is something almost every guy thought of while in a relationship or even if not in a relationship, such as "how does one deal with a girl who is too bossy?"

Also, Yintegrity is Bandon's & Amyjo's company and they were the other circle couple involved in the recording. I just bought their ebook so I'll see what its like, but basically it seems like an ideagasms but for women. A heart centered relationship manual but for woman.

Labels: , , ,

Posted by BigSend at 8/04/2007 03:28:00 PM | | Comments

Links

Archives

HYPNOTICA: The Collection Of Confidence HYPNOTICA: The Sphinx of Imagination PUA Training - Seduce Women




Subscribe to this blog's feed
[What is this?]

Powered by Blogger Blogarama - The Blogs Directory
View My Public Stats on MyBlogLog.com All-Blogs.net directory logo


By the way, I use SimUrl.com to link most things (including my email which you can Click Here for).
Don't worry, there is nothing bad about it.
It just helps me keep track of things.

© 2007 Bigsend. All rights reserved.