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Lately I have been on an Ideagasms binge, absorbing Stephane's material, reading his boards. Asking questions related to women, ego, soul, happiness, truth. Quite a fantastic group. Though I am a bit shocked at some of the crazy shit that goes on there, the good out weighs the bad. So this brings me to speaking my truth.

I am on the 6th or 7th time I've listened to the Girlfriend Training Program (GTP) but this time I am paying closer attention to his MP3's of just him talking about ego and soul. If you bought it, its the tracks called Rim Job and Heart Chakra. At first those parts bored me a bit, I enjoyed the Q&A sessions because they gave me situations to fantasize about and critique. The R.J. and H.C. sections were very spiritually oriented.

I must say, if you are just starting out you may feel the same way. Give it a year or two, like me. I can't begin to tell you the satori moments I am having now. Here is an example:

Recently I was at my school gym and doing my work-out routine when I see a girl I found very attractive. She seemed like a girl-next-door type, didn't have on piles of make up but had a homegrown look. Nice body too. The thing is, I felt like I knew her from somewhere, however I couldn't tell if that was just me coming up with an excuse to go talk to her. "Hey do I know you?" is that a lame opener? hehe

Part of me was like "I am just speaking my truth (do I know her), and then I am seeing if she is nice and open." If you guys read Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins he talks about a sweet NLP trick where you imagine a bad moment and shrink it in your mind till it is mentally gone, then imagine the opposite/good moment and make it larger and brighter. What a sweet NLP trick! Without nervousness (or at least 99% of it gone) I just approach her. I ask her the question and it turns out, she is in my Krav Maga class! I just didn't make the connection! My truth was accurate---my mind/ego was over-analyzing. Well without gong into all the gory details, we vibed very well. I mentioned numerous times in conversation "I am extremely honest and upfront" ---I just said that---. As an aside, I know people say "show don't tell" but for me, I think that is a very limiting belief. I tell and show, showing is slow. Anyway, that is just my honest opinion. Me and her talked about our views of spirituality, sexism in America, and just had an enjoyable conversation.

When I said "I speak my truth" to her, I felt power rush into me. I felt like I was in control. I felt like "Hey, this is ME baby! If you don't like it, good. I'll return to my work out!" I think she felt it, she seemed very interested in keeping the conversation going and we talked for like an hour or something. Whoa.

It ended with her asking for my number and me offering her help in E/M classes. I didn't do any fancy kino tricks, I was just doing what I felt necessary, without fear or judgment. If I felt an impulse to touch her shoulder, I did. If I felt an impulse to look at her tits, I did. This is me in full. What will come of this girl? Well the tell tale sign of attraction is "Did I pop a boner while talking to her" and the answer is yes. This means she is attracted to me. (Of course not a full on boner, but I felt the energy in the loins---I'm not a dog!). The IG people would call that biological attraction, as apposed to polarized spiritual attraction. Meh, fuck it.

Not sure what will happen with her but we shared some flirty texts throughout the night. I will have Krav Maga with her this Monday. And besides that, I'll just be in the now moment.

What I learned: Speak my truth and tell people I speak my truth. And when I tell people "I speak my truth" I am really speaking my truth. For those of you who don't know (which is all of you) I have given up on the Mystery Method/Grungey/Stephane/Brad P Method/etc etc. I am coming up with my own BigSend Method. My own personal blend. Something that works for me. This means I am experimenting and not judging any tactic, I am simply trying. Brad P is awesome, but a little bit too cool and rock and roller for me. Mystery is too good with words, naturally I am not that fast. Stephane is too together and in line ---I can't fucking fake that. Grungey is too direct for me. So, where am I? Somewhere in the middle. For me, it seems that when I specifically state my values "I speak my truth" or "I believe in XYZ" or "That does not resonant with me" I feel somewhere deep within me an alignment.

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful having those guys as teachers. I still do in fact! I bug Stephane like everyday on his boards with my newbie spiritual questions, I think he's tired of me by now haha! Same with Brad, Mystery, Grungey. Those guys continually help me, in that I see their stuff and I get new ideas. I love them all. But, I am not Mystery, Brad, Grungey, nor Stephane. I am me. And I got to come up with a method that works for me.

Labels: Commentary, Field Reports, Spirituality

Posted by BigSend on Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 11/17/2007 03:19:00 AM | Permalink