FR: Staying solid in your realidy in a set
I opened a set with some random opener and got them talking. But since I haven't sarged in awhile, I forgot most of my material. So taking the advice of Sinn and all the other guys who say it, I stayed in set and forced myself to keep talking.
So I went into rapport. She had a weird Scottish accent, so I asked her where she was from and how she knows her friends. Then they interject and say "this is what EVERY guys says, they always ask those questions, I find it so rude". Usually I would have taken this as a bad rejection and excused myself, but I stayed.
Target was like "I find it rude when guys ask that, where I'm from. It doesn't feel natural. They should wait till I volunteer" I forced myself to stay and keep talking with them. I knew it was just a test I needed to pass somehow.
I say back to her something like "But then how does any one meet any body in this world" (not the best reply, but I was forcing myself to keep talking.).
So we end up getting in to a 10 minute conversation about what is right and wrong in interaction. I say that if every guy asks you where you are from, then it IS natural---and that her repelling that is reflecting her own issues. (It wasn't insulting, it was more like "Well, if every body asks that question, then that defines what 'normal' and 'natural' is. You thinking its rude is a reflection on yourself. You are here all dressed up, you get asked it all the time, its fun to blame everyone else except yourself, isn't it?"
"why are you here then, all dressed up nice with make up? Why not go to Starbucks if you don't want to be hit on"
She gives her excuse. I know that she is out to meet guys, she knows I know it. She keeps talking to me and stating her points, but .... I can tell she was nearing tears! She had many negative emotions going through her. I never insulted her, I did not act like an asshole, I only asserted my reality and did not, under any circumstance, agree with her Scottish-bullshit err Society-bullshit ;)
I felt that I gave her a huge emotional reaction of some kind. I eventually excused myself because at that point, I honestly couldn't take the social pressure. I said to her "Okay, I guess I'll stop being rude and leave you guys"
She said "no no no no, I just think the question is rude. not you"
In truth, I know that if I could have turned her negative emotions into positive ones (like when the playground bully acts nice), I would have won her. But I am no where near there yet.
But this confirmed the importance of ATTRACTION before Qualification!
This also confirms how fragile girls' reality is. She was a high class, foreign girl who gets hit on A LOT and complains about it. I stuck in my frame for 10 minutes and kept arguing back with her. There was emotions in our conversation.
So I also learned that, regardless of mystery method, if you get an emotional reaction out of girl, there will be some kind of connection. We both could feel it. It was social pressure that I didn't know how to relieve.
Okay, I gotta keep sarging, memorize more material, work on vocal projection and frames.
I really suggest everyone go into a set, and state a controversial view of yours, get into an argument, and stick with it. Don't let her change your views. Keep your frame and your reality and do not let it slip. You'll feel this insane social pressure keep building up, especially if the girl is hot. (You can even do this with guys, just don't get into a fight. Or get into a fight, whatever)
This girl was easily a HB9. A 9/10 in the sense that she thought she was a 9/10. I thought she was an 8ish..
.
you are stating in your intro, taht 'you are learning social interaction in a deep level'
well, It's really nice, that you are so honest and sometimes even criticize your self in you posts.
but reading them...I would say, you gotta learn a lot. these shit openers.. you are saying, you are focusing on inner game.
but clearly, you are far from a consitent, solid, mature personality.
Even though... this is only my subjective opinion.
Posted by
Anonymous |
Saturday, April 15, 2006 6:38:00 PM
Though I see your point, you under estimate the fact that developing a mature solid consistent personality takes matrue, solid, consistent practice and expereince, and willingness to fail, learn, and try new things.
With that said, here I go validating myself again, haha
Posted by
BigSend |
Saturday, April 15, 2006 7:56:00 PM
In my experience stating a controversial veiw will rarely end in you achieving your desired outcome. It might make you feel good but I dont think it makes her feel good. There is a fine balance between turning yourself into the person you want to be and getting the girl. Can you have both? What is your desired outcome
Posted by
Straw Man |
Sunday, April 16, 2006 4:40:00 AM
i just wanted to say to you, that after reading your post, it seemed to me, that you don't understand the cocky & funny balance.
i'm sure, that if would understand mystery & deangelo's principles, you won't be so rude to the girls.
In my personal opinion, you forgot to be funny. was just cocky. I know what am I talking about. I fell into this mistake a lot of times.
still, It seems to me you 'don't get it'. as dyd would say. maybe you should watch the videos once more?
Posted by
Anonymous |
Sunday, April 16, 2006 4:45:00 AM
I agree with that. I need to develop my calibration. I took that one too far. I am thinking of checking out Cocky Comedy by DYD. Thanks for the input!
Posted by
BigSend |
Sunday, April 16, 2006 11:27:00 AM
"In truth, I know that if I could have turned her negative emotions into positive ones (like when the playground bully acts nice), I would have won her. But I am no where near there yet."
Just looking at that sentence in that context, I would say that you should change how you talk you yourself inside your own head. The term yet is good, as it implies future growth which will be realized, but my reccomendation would be to change it to something a bit less vague than "no where near there." Perhaps "But I haven't learned how to yet", or "but I've not yet mastered how to shift the frame in this way"
Posted by
Tango Master |
Sunday, April 16, 2006 8:06:00 PM
you said:
"In truth, I know that if I could have turned her negative emotions into positive ones (like when the playground bully acts nice), I would have won her. But I am no where near there yet."
I think this 'i would have won her' attitude is not the right. just fuck at them.really. I think you make too big teories... just do it.. don't think too much. its much better to do it
Posted by
Anonymous |
Monday, April 17, 2006 5:11:00 PM