A Response to a Comment on Affirmations
Me:
Honestly, this exercise becomes a way to find out about your hidden self. My idea is that every brain processes linguistics differently, so the exact phrase of the affirmation depends on you, but generally you want a solid statement affirmation. So as you figure out what words your sub-conscious responds to personally, you find out more and more about yourself.
Right now, I am using one I got from Brent:
"I am successful with women"
I have been doing that for 2 days now and so far it feels good. It is unlike any other affirmation because its not grounded in me---its stating something that will be true in the future, but right now isn't exactly empirically valid. But that doesn't matter: perception IS reality. The idea Brent was getting at is this exactly. Perceive you are successful with women now and when it actually does become true (very soon :)) I will be congruent with it.
When its not empirically true, its just the exception. It's like Micheal Jordan, he is a great player, yet even on his off nights he still knows he's still the best but the off nights are just the exception. Every day we don't happen to succeed with women, its just the exception.
This is the frame I am adopting and I like this affirmation a lot.
Hope this helps
~Bigsend
Octal wrote: Wow BigSend, I love your blog! You just don't get these kinds of insights on most PUAs blogs. This level of inner-game for me is where it's all at.
You've inspired me to do my own 7x70 affirmations. Now the only thing I have to decide is what to use as my affirmation?
I was thinking initially "I effortlessly attract and fascinate extremely attractive women".
Then from reading your post I thought... you could go a level deeper and deal with the inner game approval issue, like you did. I suspect the inner-game is a pre-requisite of the attraction, so I should focus on that first.
I thought of how to capture the correct attitude and I think just the phrase "I am enough" would do it. Simple and to the point.
Alternatively, I could go the more specific route and say something like "I always internally validate myself first before considering anyone elses opinion of me".
Any thoughts on whether to go the more specific or general route?
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Posted by Octal to The Adventures of BigSend at 4/23/2006 09:10:08 AM
I gotta thank you for getting me started on this affirmation stuff, BigSend.
I thought it was all just bullshit until reading your blog, and then it clicked for me and I realised...
The affirmation is your conscious mind talking to your unconscious!
Until then, I saw it like a kind of self-deception. Like trying to convince yourself of a lie by repeating it enough times.
But that's not how it is. The unconscious knows no linear time, so whether something is "true" RIGHT NOW is of little consequence to it. And it has the power to shape reality to conform to whatever you ask of it.
The affirmation process then forms a dialogue between your conscious and unconscious. You unconscious, being of a childlike and emotional nature, needs a firm hand.
In assertiveness training they teach you the "broken record" technique - repeat calmly but firmly what you want UNTIL YOU GET IT. That's what's going on here. It's your own broken-record dialogue with your subconscious.
You give it space to answer back, but continue with the broken record nevertheless. Eventually it will capitulate.
Hmm... (thinks this could have been a post in my own blog instead of a comment on yours ;-)
Anyway, keep up the superb work. I'm impressed you're making so much progress at such a young age. Wish I'd had your knowledge and attitude back in my 20s!
later,
octal
Posted by Octal | Monday, April 24, 2006 5:45:00 AM
One more way to do affirmations (not when writting, but maybe it can be good this way as well, but time consuming) is:
1.start normal with your main sentence;
2.write "because" and finish subordinate sentence creativly. "Yes, I'm great with woman because I'm a man/I am my self/I had success in the past/".
Everytime you say affirmation, you need new reasons.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday, May 01, 2006 1:36:00 AM
Oh, and those reasons should be things that are internal, permanent and unchangeble (not your job or style but your humour or character). Otherwise you self-esteem would be dependent on external factors, thingd you have no full control of.
Posted by Anonymous | Wednesday, May 03, 2006 1:19:00 PM