My Experiences Meditating with an Indian Guru.
Life has an interesting path for me, that is for sure. To trace my journey very briefly, I was introduced into the dating advice community, weaseled around hit many bumps, found my spot and good friends, then somehow cross paths with Stephane from Ideagasms. Actually, I recall sending him an email a while ago asking for advice and he responded quite promptly. Me: "Where do I find well balanced girls" He relied "If you actually go out, perhaps you'll meet them" DUH, he knew me from that one sentence haha. Labels: Outings, Spirituality
Well after spending a week with Steph and his friends they recommended me a book "Autobiography of a Yogi" along with "Conversations with God." Unlike most times, when I get a book recommendation I usually put it on a long to do list. Well, somehow I just read it that week. (Actually I got the audio book hehe, but I chose those over like a billion others I planned to hear!). "Yogi" is a book about an Indian Guru's life named Yogananda and his journey. He describes meeting and learning from saint like Gurus who mediate for hours and achieve sublime states of mind, even levitate physically and predict future outcomes and seer events. Sounds like magic right?
Well after getting through this book, I met up with my new friend B (keeping his name anonymous) who lives in my area and we talked about mediation, what it really is. Talked about ego, energy. Very enlightening conversation, I felt like such a rookie to life all of a sudden. I have felt energy before, I learned how to play with it and move it through my body. I'm sure you could do it too, just whoosh your hands up to the top of your head, if you do it right you'll get this head rush feeling. That is about the extend I knew about energy. Well, I also learned how to bring the energy downward by guiding it when my hands. I know this sounds hockey, but I definitely do feel something and it is very mysterious to me. I know its more than a blood rush because I can guide that energy feeling all through me.
Anyway, that is just a taste. B told me a great Indian Guru comes to America once a year for about a month to guide Americans into the Kriya Yoga Mediation practice. I knew I would go, I couldn't miss this. A little back ground, his name is Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath and he has been into mediation since the age of 3. Later in life he would mediate in the Himalayas and one day he had a vision meeting a great master Babaji. Babaji is like humanities' guide, its super hard to explain who he is, but suffice to say he is like the Jesus or Buddha. Seeing is believing, and of course I did not see any of this take place, however I did meet Guru. It was probably the most profound experience in my life, my God has this journey taken me far.
Guru hosts a free event called a Satsang. Guru believes seeing is believing and therefore he offers seekers a chance to meditate in front of him for about 3 hours and feel his presence. The first Satsang was held in a church after hours (7 pm) and I got there a bit early. The vibe was very calm, but I could feel a restlessness in the air. It seemed a bit weird. People there did not seem like those you'd meet off the street. They were dressed normal but they had a seeking look in their eye. Others, however, seemed deeply saddened and are seeking happiness. Others seemed like doubting thomases, though they were very curious. Curiosity ran through the air. At around 7:10 a disciple of Guru named Dan (hes on the web page) came and made an announcement, letting us know of what will be happening. Dan, along with all of guru's disciples were very calm people, and though they didn't have a profound aura they seemed very peaceful, friendly, helpful, and loving. Perhaps they will be Guru's one day if that is on their path, they certainly could be.
A few minutes later, as we were all sitting in silence, our hands in the Namaste position the church floor began to creek. And creek. And creek, till through the back of the church came Guru. I knew it was Guru right away as I had already seen his youtube videos, but when I saw him and felt his presence in real life, I couldn't move. It was like sleep paralysis came over me. I would dumb founded, he had an aura of sooo much peace, love, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, truth and add all positive adjectives. It was not just a powerful look in his eye. It was in his facial expression, the way he talked, the way he looked at every single audience member with such love. He had NO trace of fear, anxiety, or anything negative in any way. None. Even when someone asked him a shotty question or what-not, pure love came out of him.
He talked for nearly all the 3 hours. My first night I noticed that even as he talked, people were in deep mediation. I didn't know this at the time, but a true master's mear presence, the aura of love and compassion sends sensitive seekers into a trance.
I'm telling you, this was not like seeing Micheal Jordan, Bill Clinton, Jerry Seinfeld or ________ celebrity. This was like seeing pure love. I know it seems almost like I am hero worshiping. I am honestly telling you what I observed. Is Guru a fake? Is he just an amazing actor? My answer: what the fuck does it matter. Satsang is free! The stuff he does charge for is dirt cheep (a couple books and videos) and he only sells it to very few people who meet him. I felt so much honesty and love and honor from him and his disciples that if this were all a big hoax... they are fuckinnnn gooood! haha. Okay, no more pacing your reality. This is my journal anyway I plan to show my kids some day, so I wouldn't lie to them. On with the story!
The first night, I came in slightly doubting, but very curious. As said, when he came inside, I felt a feeling of sleep paralysis where I couldn't really move. He began very eloquently talking---man could he talk well, however I was in a bind, I couldn't really listen. In fact, I wasn't thinking the same. My thought mind was not in mode, my heart-feeling was opening up very much. I began to notice myself getting high, almost like smoking weed. It was not sustained now super high, but it was like being high real quick. That was when I realized "Oh shit! This is mediation"
I recall trying to mediate off and on through the years, just sitting down, not thinking, just being in the moment. I noticed I couldn't do it too well. My brain would always butt in or I'd get bored. However, with Guru I mediated probably for the first time and definitely the deepest I ever gone. In fact, the last time I felt such a deep meditation was hanging out with Stephane and Ideagasms. Stephane is a great guy, about 30 years ago and seriously mastered relationships. That I can recall, he was about the most enlightened man I met before Guru, so I feel like meeting Stephane was like a taste of what a master is like. In fact, I can see Stephane becoming a Guru Master.
Near the end of the Satsang, Guru mentioned something rather peculiar to us. He said he was going to give us a taste of his soul, allow us to fully merge with him and see his light. Wtf? Yeah I know, what? Well, I went with the flow. He asked everyone to gather so they were all straight in front of him, not to the side. After some words of instructions he began.... [This is hard to write out, I thought it would be easier, but this is hard to write out.] I saw Guru begin to glow white... and light was shining out of him. First I thought it was eye strain, as he asked us to not blink. In the middle of the meditation, he told us he would sooth our eyes by waving his hands in front of him. It worked, got me to refocus. But he began to melt once again. His face seemed ghost like and covered in a veil like an Arabian. Every few seconds my eyes would twitch and he'd refresh then it would go right back. My god... What was happening... But the craziest part was, there was pulsing wave of energy coming out of him. It was like a pebble hitting water and waves forming around that pebble, except here the center was Master and the waves were all space around him. I was 99% sure it was eye strain, BUT I could not repeat this pulsing at all at a later time. Perhaps it was literal energy waves were coming out of him, like a heart beat. My mind went completely blank, my jaw dropped, I couldn't think, I could only observe. I was perplexed.
Then it was over. I still could not believe it. In fact, I still am not 100% sure. Either way, afterwards I tried to emulate the vision by staring at him again. Without blinking I stared at him and I saw nothing. Was this placebo, hypnosis?? What was this? Guru then asked everyone if they saw him change form, and everyone rose their hands.
What. The. Fuck.
What was that!??!?!??!??!
I was scared. Hell even B would confirm that, I could barely speak afterwards. B is already heavily into this and he saw a great image.
Second day:
I went the next day, as I only planned to attend that first Friday. I sacrificed really going out and sarging in preparation for BradP. Well I hit up bars afterward but that is another story. I came this time to see that shit again. I wanted to see him melt once more along with those weird pulses. I came, sat down closer to him and meditated. My brain was much more active and when it came time for the final seeing of his soul, the back of my mind was waiting like it was for a movie or something. I knew this was wrong. Needless to say, during his final seeing, I didn't see anything. I only felt immense pools of love going through me, but my ego mind was in my way. It is impossible to meditate while being distracted by inner dialog, which I couldn't quite turn off.
Either way, after the second day, I finally mustered the courage to introduce myself to him. Fuck, it felt like I was approaching some untouchable HB10 haha. But I forced myself to introduce myself, tell him my name, and that was it. Deep down, I think it was my ego which wanted the attention. Either way I am so glad I did, because seeing him close up, gaining his attention and seeing his forgiving, loving, yet super powerful face was so uplifting. I could not think a negative thought around him. How foolish I was to be reluctant to talk to him.
Later I told him about my path, how I stumbled across everything and read "Yogi" and then found Hamsa Yoga. He seemed delighted but didn't care too much either. He seemed to have like no ego, he loved I was there, he enjoyed everyone's company, but it was all just an experience for him. He was giving us an experience and we were giving him one. When he was paying attention to me, I was his sole attention for that moment, but when he wasn't paying attention to me, it felt like I was out of his mind completely. Now, Guru is a human being, he has a brain. I know he remembers me because he recognized me on the third day. But he had no attachment.
hmm...
The Third Day:
Now I definitely did not plan to attend all 3 days, but as life works out, it was meant to be. This next meeting was 40 miles away, but that didn't stop me. This time, I calmed my mind, my inner dialog and I committed myself to 1) not asking any questions or making statements. 2) Just observe. Just be in the moment. No judging, no thinking, no ideas. Just observe.
Now Guru does more meditations than the "seeing" one I described earlier. Another one was a Chakra like mediation. Before this, all I really knew of was Stephanes Chakra meditation (linked above) which are excellent! However, this one was different. Guru talked about energy running up and down the spine. He lead us through a meditation and I allowed myself to be taken by his words and guidance. I put full faith in him for 3 hours, for better or worse and the result was breath taking.
The energy centers of the body are located in the spine and brain (as most physiologists would agree) and the idea of this meditation was to feel the energy flow up and down the spine freely. On day 2, I talked to a guy who mentioned feeling energy going up and down his spine but feeling blockages. Now on the 3rd day, I felt the energy too, but I also felt blockages. I was like "crap!", the feeling of energy flow is stopping near my mid spine (solar plexus area) which is actually where I feel most anxiety. At that moment I recalled in "Auto Bio of a Yogi" Yogananda would actively ask his master "Please, Help me through this" and this inspired me in this moment. In my head I asked "Master, please help me move this energy. I put my faith in you, please help me" and wow. It was like a huge gush of water going through a small valve... but the energy go so intense it broke the valve and moved its way up, breaking through more and more blockages. I felt a HUGE rush! It was like the first time I got high when my head hit the ceiling. In fact it was crazier, it felt like if I could go higher, I would levitate. I felt very little weight. I was high and felt amazing amounts of love in my chest. My chest was growing. My God, how amazing this was.
Then came the "seeing" time. This time, I did not see him glow. I did see minor pulses, but instead I noticed his eyes were shining. His eyes were getting brighter I noticed. I also noticed my mind was extremely still, I was not only not thinking, but I also felt like time was standing still. There were thought pebbles going through me and again I asked guru to "Help me through this" Soon after he stopped the meditation. Asked everyone if they felt those thought pebbles. I raised my hand along with a few others. He then lead us through this meditation again, this time my mind was completely vacant. But, I knew I was seeing something, his eyes were glowing. His face seemed to change, but I couldn't recognize it. Some said he had a Moses look (but he looks a bit like Moses and Jesus anyway). Actually, he began looking a little bit like another Guru whose picture is in Autobiography of a Yogi.
After the mediation, I hung out with Master and other disciples in the back room and apparently people offer him food and deserts and gifts. He shared all this with us and had very little himself. I then told him how I'd ask him in my mind to help me through this and he gave a hearty laugh! Haha, he seemed delighted it helped me, then made a joke about how his disciples from awhile ago did the same thing, only from afar and got freaked out because it worked.
Who knows how it worked, perhaps it is the same concept as people saying "God, please help me" when something bad is happening, only this time, I really felt amazing rush of energy when I asked Guru for help.
Links to Hamsa Yoga stuff:
http://simurl.com/hamsa
http://simurl.com/hamsa_youtube
I plan to attend his final mediation in my area this coming Sunday. It will be right after BradP's workshop, in fact I'll have to leave early. Brad is a fucking cool guy, he agreed that it was okay and he'd give me a free phone consultation to finish off the workshop. Thanks man
To end this, true this was like a religious event, spending a few hours with your religious leader. But instead of it being fucking boring, droning, and repeating mantras over and over, it was spectacular and we felt the emotions first hand. Man does this beat temple haha!
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